Mrs Woog's Newbie Week - HESPERA'S GARDEN

So now I am into day 5 of my holiday and by this stage I suspect I will be a bit fed up with the kids. But I am heading to Noosa today for a prolonged afternoon at this dayspa. Bliss! Here is another great newbie for you to check out!

She's sending me grey!

I swear I have a new grey hair this morning. It popped up last night, to join the others that have steadily been taking up occupation on my head. Little buggers.

So, what's causing my hairy demise?

Hurricane Tara. The six-tween-year-old occupying the room next to me.

Oh yes, make no mistake, she is not just a simple 6 year old. She has been practising slamming doors since she turned 3. She's exceptionally self centred and egotistical and has an obsession with lip gloss. Oh yes, she is a 16 year old trapped in a 6 year old's body.

Yesterday the following phrase leapt forth from her lips: “...that's ok Mama, besides, I am watching ABC Kids on 2... and drinking”. Say wha'? Or when requested to clean her room: “But there is too much STUFF! Oh, but I need it aaaaaaaall!” Or the most common one... “Isn't my hair beaaaaaaautiful? Aren't I beautiful?!” Yes sweet child of mine, you are beautiful, stunning, and glorious. But you are my daughter, I am MEANT to say that.

My daughter is more girly than my husband and I put together (and that is saying something!). She now refuses to wear jeans because they don't feel nice, wants to wear dresses all the time and has her own very unique style.

She has had a fairly steady “boyfriend” since she started school. There is a running joke between the parents about each of them stashing the others' clothes in their school bag. When I explained to her I did not think a kindy girl needed a boyfriend, she burst into tears, looked me straight in the eye and wailed “But he loves me mama, he LOVES ME!” Who can argue with that logic? (Though he's now moving to a new school and I might be a tad relieved!)

So what caused the catalyst yesterday to give me that new grey hair? Oh, I asked her the most painful of requests. I asked her to draw a picture. And little miss I-can't-do-anything-unless-it-is-absolutely-perfect could not get the fairy wings right and chucked a hissy-fit of tears as I tried to tell her it was beautiful as it was. “No it is NOT!” she stomped. “Then don't do it if it is going to make you sad and upset...” I retorted. BIG Mistake. “You don't understaaaaaaaaaaaand me!” she wails. “I am trying...” I fumble...

And it's in that moment, the moment she screams the words “UGH! You make me so angry!” and slams the door, that I know this parenting thing is an uphill walk, forever... but I am doing a good job. As her mother I'll probably screw her up for life somewhere along the way, but isn't that my job? To give her a life time of fodder for her psychiatrist, in exchange for every grey hair she gives me?

Someone pass me the hair dye...

ABOUT
A place of honesty and love, sadness and grief. Hespera's Garden is a blog of heart driven words written through the aftermath of stillbirth, the journey of motherhood, the joy of family and the powerful connection to my circle of friends.

Blog Link: http://www.hesperasgarden.com/
Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/hesperasgarden
FB: http://www.facebook.com/hesperasgarden

Mrs Woog's Newbie Week - RHONDA CHAPMAN

So, I am still up on the Sunshine Coast with all the family. I sure hope this scheduling is working ok.  I have never done it before. But more importantly,  I hope you are enjoying Newbie Week!

I want to be able to chase my son across the football field (without passing out)

My heart breaks when I look in the mirror and when I remember that I weighed under 75 kilos six years ago! The 20 kilos that I put on since 2005 when I moved countries are breaking my heart. Why the F**k did I let this happen? Depression, perhaps?

My life (not just my diet) changed since I moved to Perth. I had to take whatever job that came my way so we could pay our bills. I felt stuck in regards to my career. I was also missing my brothers, sister, parents, zillion of cousins, aunties/uncles, and friends.

I joined 4 gyms since 2005 and no sh*t happened. Lost 5 kilos in all but that’s it.

Then Master E happened and all attention shifted to him. I love him to bits but dammit, I had no time for ME. More kilos piled on. Hubby could eat a cow he’ll still look hot.

“Oh, you had a baby, it’s normal,” said every person I complain to about my weight.

No, it’s not normal. How come YOU are not fat? You have two or four or six kids.

In November this year we went to Bali. We had fun, yes, but I just couldn’t remove my sarong to swim in public. I was at my heaviest: 95 kilos. I had a meltdown when we got back to our room. I felt so down and couldn’t believe how much just looking at myself hurts.

I decided there and then that I will do whatever I can (without committing any crime), and just push forward to lose those 20 kilos. I looked at my son that night and made a silent promise to myself that I WILL BECAUSE I CAN. If I managed to keep my weight under 75 kilos once upon a time, why can’t I do it now?

I WILL ALSO DO THIS FOR MY SON because I do not want to be the Mummy who can’t play with him in the park or who can’t fit in a wetsuit when he and Daddy decide to go diving one day. I don’t want to be the Mummy who misses out because she’s unfit. I want to be the Mummy who chases him across the football field on Sundays and who can fit in the bumper car when we go to the adventure park.

So, I am six weeks into my promised journey (aka my PJ) and I worked out at least 4 times a week. I have cut back on how much I eat and I have lost about 10cm off my waist already. I weigh myself every morning but I don’t trust the scales as I’m building muscles while I lose the fat. I trust the measuring tape, and it’s reporting great changes.

I’m so proud of Me! Hell yeah, why not? I CAN do this and I WILL. I just need to remind myself of the promises and why I’m doing it, every.single.day. That’s how I keep going.

Rhonda lives at http://www.sillymummy.com/ , a blog where she's keeping her PR/comms skills alive. At this stage, she's rambling about whatever she wants to. She's mum to Master E, wife to Hubby and PostGrad student (Commerce/Marketing). Currently working on new blog to coincide with her son starting school. Her favourite movie quote is from Con Air - "Put... the bunny... back... in the box." (Cameron Poe). Connect with Rhonda at http://twitter.com/#!/rhonda_chapman and http://linkedin.com/in/rhondachapman

Mrs Woog's Newbie Week - MUMMYK

Well hello there! How are you doing? I am up at the Sunshine Coast for some stimulating family time so I have handed over this blog to a handful of new bloggers. If you like what you read, please visit their sites. You never know.... it may be the start of a beautiful, strange, cyber-stalking type situation.....

Not so Exlusive Club

Around eight years ago, I joined the club of Filipino brides of foreign men.

It was a definite decision on my part because, well, you can’t really choose the person you fall in love with. I never saw myself as another Filipino bride to another foreign national. In my head, I was just marrying my perfect match.

However, I am constantly forced to look at things differently when I’m visiting the Philippines. When my then-boyfriend first visited the country, it was very much apparent to me that I was looked at as “one of those” Filipinas – a “brownie” hooking up with a “whitey” for financial reasons.

It was also very obvious how other Filipino women saw him. While on a holiday in Bohol, three “tourist trappers” strolled around us for quite some time, flipping their long hairs and batting their eyelashes towards my man’s direction. They didn’t care that he was there with me – perhaps for them, it was a battle of whoever gets the guy wins. They were baiting him, just in case he decides to bite.

He gave me a quizzical look and asked what the hell they were flipping their hair about. I explained it to him and he shook his head, embarrassed by the blatant display of flirtation and boobage.

Later on that night, he asked me if the things he heard prior to his visit were indeed true. Were Filipino women really so desperate they’d flaunt themselves like that to get a foreign husband? Yes, it’s true, was my honest answer. Practicality comes first. It ranks above love and desire especially during desperate times.

It is a sad reality. Marrying and getting whisked to another country is considered “lucky” because you get to escape poverty. It doesn’t matter if your husband cheats on you, beats you up, looks down on you – you’re encouraged to suck it up because you are “lucky”.

And yes, even when I first arrived in Australia I was called “those words” – you know “mail to order bride”, “Filipina sex slave”, “child bride” and so on. It was easy for me to brush it off because I was confident of my place and my relationship.

It’s not always the case though. I know of several Filipino women who are happily enjoying their interracial marriages, and living in different parts around the world. It makes me very happy to know that although there is a bit of an age up between some of these couples, their minds and hearts meet at the right point. And although, like me, they all get the same side remarks from other Filipinos, they also ignore these things knowing that they married for the right reasons.

During my last visit, Mama invited all our neighbours to our Christmas party – even the ones we weren’t that close to. I didn’t wonder why. She wanted to show to the neighbours just how hot my husband is and how intellectually compatible we are. She wanted to show the proof that I didn’t just marry some old white dude just for the heck of “escaping” the country.

I still get those looks when I go to visit – at the airport, in the mall, doing the groceries. But it doesn’t bug me. I know where we stand with each other and how much we love our little mixed family. So they can stare all they want. It makes me feel like a celebrity anyway.



Kristyn is a freelance journalist, photographer and first time children’s book author. Aside from loving being a WAHM and wife, she also loves zombie movies and cocktails (hopefully both at the same time). She blogs at http://mummyk.com and tweets as  @mummyk