Marriage Saving Tips for Mr Woog. A Refresher Course.

• Doing the laundry is not just putting clothes in the machine, turning it on and then leaving it for two days festing away. That is not called "doing the laundry". That is called "creating more work".




• When you say "I am helping" when it comes to child related tasks, you are not "Helping" you are "doing". They are your kids as well.... remember?




• When you get sent up to Franklins to buy milk and come back with shaving cream, this too could also be categorised into the "creating more work"




• Skidmarks in the toilet are not an interior decorating feature that I would like to encourage.




• Finishing a sandwich is an even more satisfying experience when the plate is placed in the dishwasher. Try it and see!




• And speaking of dishwashers, they can be emptied. AND PACKED!




• I really do not think you need two dinners. Leave the kids alone while they are eating.




• I fully support your support of our local florist and the frequency of flowers purchased for me. And I am willing to overlook the fact that the Florist is hot, friendly and has super perky boobs.




• You did not get me coffee 2 mornings in a row last week. Do not make me shut up shop again for such selfish acts. You know what I am talking about Mr Woog.
  

Apart from that, of course you are perfect. Except for the ear hair thing that I note you still have not addressed. Snip Snip.

CougarWoog

So today marks the end of a 4 month annual period where I can call myself a cougar.

Mr Woog has hit the big 37 - catching up to me in the numerical stakes. I continue to be leaps and bounds ahead of him in the emotional sense. We have been bumping uglies for some 15 years now. So I have been a cougar for a long time, even before the term was coined, marketed, written about and celebrity old ladies jumped on the bandwagon.

I just know that cougar/cub relationships can cut the mustard, as these fine cougary examples can testify. All in committed, fulfilling cougary marriages.... aren't they?

But to my dearest love. Happy Birthday and welcome to your mid-life crisis.

meow.

PS - Thank you Mr Finlayson for bringing this along to Mr Woog's Bday Dinner last night. We were all like -" Gross. Who would drink that??" Well you know who would drink that? Me and your wife. AND it was AMAZING. And healthy due to all the antioxidants. Yeah. That's right.

Go get yourself a cask of cranberry.

Mr Woog

I know I bitch a fair bit about Mr Woog, but he has just taken the Woogettes out for the morning, leaving me in bed with the papers, a hot coffee and my laptop. Oh, and Wilson the obese, wheezing drooly cat.

He is a simple man in many ways. He loves to eat but never cooks but he loves to read cookbooks. He is a mad mad gardener and has transformed WoogsWorld's brown patches into beautiful gardens. Last year he planted jasmine outside my bedroom so it is perfumed when I open the windows. He is a fitness fanatic who loves nothing more than a curry and several beers. He has a strong moral conscience yet voted for Tony Abbott

(nearly inciting divorce papers to be drawn up).

Mr Woog is a good dad but acts like a kid himself around them. He is thoughtful, stubborn, honest, hard working, hard playing, interesting and sometimes says things that might render him gay if you did not know him "Lemon is such an amazing flavour."

But most of all he has excellent taste in women.

So Mr Woog, thank you for giving me two hours of peace this morning. You are a champ.

But if you do not change the light bulb in my bathroom today, I am taking you to Spanky Town and not in a good way.

xoxoxo