Last night I went to bed, hoping for a sunny day with slight blustery conditions. Not because I had planned to go sailing. But because I was dealing with a situation that could only work if Mother Nature proved sympathetic to my cause.
Not only do I hate washing. I loathe it so intensely that my psyche has gone so askew, that I actually concern myself with drying conditions.
It has never been my favourite household chore. In fact, I detest all of them equally.
But lately things have become a bit out of control and I am the only one to blame.
You see, a few weeks ago I sold my washing machine and dryer on Gumtree and used that cash to roll a stupid purchase at Seconds World. I negotiated with the most unhelpful salesman and bought a washer dryer combo.
My laziness has bit me in the ass, for you see the washer I got only washes 7.5kg and only dries 4kg so the whole thing is as useless as tits on a bull to me. All because I could not be fucked to transfer a wet load into a dryer.
And now the Domestic Goddess's are making me pay.
Load after fucking load. This is the results of a long weekend up at Jabba being added to an already overwhelming back load.
So much so, that there is now a spillover which is housed outside.
I can only imagine the horror on some of your faces right now. OH THE SHAME.... And perhaps some of you are wondering "Why on earth is she airing her dirty laundry on the Internet?"
The truth is, that I know I am not alone today.
I know there are thousands of people in my exact situation. I know of families who have been camping in raining conditions over Easter, and families who have struggled through severe bouts of gastro which has swept through, leaving no sheet or towel untouched in it's wake.
Even my Bridget Joneses are on display today. I fear their shadow will cast cold, dark shade on the rest of the 4 loads already done thus far.
As the sun disappears later, my panic might set in that I will be destined to continue this ridiculous pattern tomorrow.
So, if you are sitting there, with your washing basket empty and your laundry sink all shiny and clean, on behalf of the rest of us, look deep inside your heart and share your methods.
This is a serious community service announcement. No details are too small.
HOW DO YOU TACKLE YOUR LAUNDRY?
WHAT SYSTEMS WORK FOR YOU?
Desperate times here people. I am one scoop of OMO away before I chuck a match at the lot and join a nudist colony.