October 06, 2011

Saving myself. From myself.

A few days ago,  I had an incident involving a pair of Sambag Ballet flats and a newly washed floor.  I suffered a fall.  And epic fall.

For years my sister Mrs Ryan and I have talked about suffering falls.  We have heard things about elderly people we knew from our mum and the conversation always goes something like..

"She suffered a fall and had to have her hip replaced.  And she died under the anaesthetic..."
"He slipped on the path and suffered a fall and had to go to rehab to learn to walk again.  And then he died...."
"She was making a cup of tea and suffered a fall and got really bad burns on her hands.  Then she died in the ambulance..."
"They were going to bingo and she slipped on a banana peel and suffered a fall resulting in a green stick fracture before she passed away..."

Old people suffer falls.  And they do not just break things.  They shatter major skeletal structures. And more often than not,  a major fall marks the beginning of the end.

I suffered a fall on Tuesday.  I was in a rush to use the latrine and took the corner too fast in wet conditions.  It was not so much as I fell,  but it was like someone literally pulled the rug out from under me. Except there was no rug.  If there WAS a rug there,  I would not have fallen.  When you are falling,  sometimes you do it in slow motion and have a change to correct your footing.  But my fall was like walky walky walky BANG.

I lay on the wet floor bawling.  And after I assessed that I had not broken my arm, I started swearing blue murder. The language was colourful to say the least and no one was there to listen.

I called Mr Woog at work and had a good old cry. He was most unhelpful.  I called the Divine Ms M who asked "Did anyone see it?" and I told her no.  And then she said that that was a shame because it sounded really funny.

It has been a few days now since I suffered my fall and I must say,  I feel like I have been hit by a car.  My ribs hurt,  my hip hurts and my neck is twitchy.  And the bruising. OH THE BRUISING.  I suffered a fall. I fell and I could not get up. For a while. And it has made me think whether I need to invest in any of the following items.

So I will look into implementing these items into WoogsWorld so I can protect myself... from myself.

Have you ever suffered a fall?
What damage did you do?
Go on... share so I do not feel like such a gumby fuck.
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