July 16, 2011

A Worldwide WoogsWorld Exclusive

Ten phone calls News Corp Have Kept Secret from You.

A Woogsworld Exclusive

A secret stash of telephone recordings discarded by a News International employee have been discovered in a secret location by a blogger intern. SawHole, of Woogsworld, found the transcripts in the bottom of a guinea pig cage.

"I was shocked, stunned and a little amazed. I had to scrape a fair bit of guinea pig shit off it" she said.

Highlights include:

1. Shane Warne to Liz Hurley: "Liz, this Estee Lauder stuff is shit!"

2. Tony Abbott to Liberal Head Office: "No, I won't tap dance in Carbon - The Musical."

3. Miranda Kerr to Orlando Bloom: "Pass the organic cracked nipple cream, love. And grab me a beer ok?"

4. Nicole Kidman to Keith Urban: "Does my face look plastic in this?"

5. Australian designer Wayne Cooper: "I was wrong - size 16 is the new black."

6. Megan Gale: "Andy, it's me and I know it is midnight but I thought you could come over for some Monopoly."

7. Former NSW Premier Kristina Keneally: "Do you think I should tryout for Masterchef."

8. Prime Minister Julia Gillard to Tim Matheson: "I like yellow gold, not white gold.Try again."

9. Megan Gale to Alex Perry: "I can't believe I drunk and dialled Andy."

10. Lara Bingle: "Now it was a big Tiffany stunner and I believe it is somewhere around the s-bend."

And finally Mrs Woog to SawHole: "Where is my bloody lunch you useless git. Don't make me lock you in the dogbox again....."

Is there a good place around Scotland Yard that I can pick up a smoked salmon bagel?

La Hola!
Madam Bipolar aka SawHole
Living with and supporting others with bipolar disorder.
Bipolar resources and bipolar advocacy
Sidekick and ever faithful servant of Mrs Woog
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