July 04, 2011

I am the World's Worst Blogger.

I never really got into Mother's Group.  I remember sitting in a circle with our freshies and we were all looking at each other.  To me it was a totally artificial environment.  Perhaps I did not give it long enough,  but I was a Mother's Group Drop out.

I have my mates.  I blog about them often.  There is Mrs Finlayson,  Uberkate,  The Divine Ms M,  Sawhole, Penny and Kracker.  And through blogging,  I have at least a dozen new friends which I would fling myself under a Mr Whippy Van for without pause.

And within that group,  there is a sub-sect that is entirely responsible for keeping WoogsWorld on your screen.

I am the world's worst blogger.

People think that because you have a blog,  you know about computers.  My mum will call me up and ask me questions about her computer because,  according to her, I know about computers.  I do not know about computers.  I know how to put the words on the page,  but that is it.  Blogging is a science that runs deeper than that though.  There is an extraordinary amount to learn and I am flunking.  Badly.

Unless Chris the Ribena Dude is reading this.  Chris,  if you are reading this.  Forget what I said.  I am a freaking techno genius. Can I still go to Blogher on your dime?

insert blatent sponsor shout out - make sure you delete this line before you publish.

Often I will be feeling brave and delve deep into "the back end" of this blog and I am all like "I wonder what this button does.........." And I press it and the screen goes blank and a funny note will pop up telling me that WoogsWorld is dead or something equally fun.  Then I go into full scale meltdown and call in the Team.

The team is really one person.  Liz Griffiths is a one woman techno guru and has saved this blog more than once.  She has asked me to just try and write and not press any buttons apart from the ones that make words.  I love her. And because I totally fucked up this blog on Friday night by pressing the wrong button,  she had to call in the services of another knowledgeable blogger.  Forever thanks to Sharnee. xx

A patient person is that Nicole Avery.  Like she must get up in the morning and mainline xanax or something. Why?  Because she is trying to explain to me such terms as meta-tags, SEO (no,  they are not biscuits you put vegemite on - something entirely different!) search engines,  labels,  categories and google ranking.  And so far I am a most disappointing student.  But she is a blogging rockstar so I need to respect her authority a bit more.

I have a self appointed publicist!  St Murphy is a Sydney Supremo Publicist and an old mate of mine.  And it is entirely glamorous to say I have a publicist.  Except there is not work involved.

I have a Guru.  Nikki Parkinson is the voice of reason when it all starts getting too hard.  Her advice should be bottled.  Plus when she comes to stay,  I make her go through my wardrobe and do some "editing" which is fash talk for chuck out.

Finally I have a partner in crime.  Eden Riley is at my disposal for shits and giggles.  And dares.  And I suspect there will be plenty when we travel to America next month.  And no.  I am not getting a tattoo.

So there you have it.  The team that keeps this little patch of cyberspace ticking over.  The team that gives me a kick up the ass when required.  I cannot thank them enough.  And over there on The Blog Squad are other bloggers that inspire me every day.  Go and check them out.  Because they are worth it.

My online mother's group is my virtual tribe.  And we all share a passion for writing and storytelling.  I have so much more in common with them than the fact that we all happened to have unprotected sex at the same time.

Control. Alt. Delete.
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