April 05, 2011

Mrs Woog. Blogger. Mother. Milliner.

Last week I surprised everyone and myself by making the most kick ass Pink and Purple Glittery Disco Easter Hat, as specifically requested my my son Jack. It was almost an Internet phenomenon.

Well in my head anyway.

I made the hat in 15 minutes by using a large stapler and a bag of crap form the $2 shop. It truly filled the brief. And was the object of admiration from all the kids and mothers. Jack's teacher was so impressed with MY work, that she sent him down to the Principals office and he came back with a gold sticker. He did not even touch that hat during construction! Just saying......

But the whole thing got me thinking. Maybe this was my special talent? Maybe Easter Hat making was going to pull me out of the ultimate question I ask myself. What am I doing with my life? I may be looking at a book deal, followed by a magazine deal, then a TV show on the LifeStyle Network! And then I could do appearances at shopping centres. And if I truly dare to dream, I might, just might, end up on Oprah!

All because of Easter Hat Making.

Harry had taken one look at Jack's Hat and immediately requested a Sparkly Disco Hat as well. But a less girly one. Nothing is impossible Harry when it comes to Festive Millinery! I went back to the $2 shop and spent some time selecting my tools. I had big plans.

I had the foresight to grab a bottle of wine for incentive.

And I shoved it in the freezer because this hat was only going to take me 15 minutes.

The main feature of the Manly Glittery Disco Hat was going to be a clever little string of fairy lights that operated from two AA batteries. But to start, I needed to attach a pair of fluffy rabbit ears to the glittery hat. Using a black texta, I carefully marked out where the incisions should go. A word of warning, do not attempt working with glitter when you have just painted your nails.
Stab the hat.

Once you have established that you have cut in the wring spot, repeat the process until the band slides in easily.

Use your hands to remould the plastic glitter hat. Allow time for cursing here and to get a bit shitty about the blue glitter spreading everywhere.

Admire the packet of Disco Balls and consider using them in your home decor.

Use your stapler to fasten the disco balls at even spaces around the rim of the Blue Glitter Disco Hat. Yes it looks heavy. That is because it is.

Now if you are like me, you may be a bit skeptical about purchasing anything battery powered from the $2 shop. But I was delighted that they worked. But I was dreaming if I thought the battery pack would stick to the hat with a bit of sticky tape.

You have been working for an hour now, so time for a bit of a break.

Stab the hat a bit more and use the glittery pipe cleaners to securely fasten the battery back, all the time taking sips of your wine.

Using your newly acquired dutch courage, carefully staple the fairy lights to the hat, trying to avoid an electrical shock. Look at the sad, pathetic hat. A complete disaster that has taken an hour and a half. So I tried to fix it up by adding something special - a gold pipe cleaner. The circles were not aligned during the construction of the hat. The wine took the edge off my disappointment. What Worked? The wine. What did not work? I think I got a bit too ambitious trying to integrate technology and glitter. I really do not think I will ever be asked to take part on a Mardi Gras Float Construction team. I also did not think my plan through enough. Working with the blue glitter hat was the beginning of the end. Would I do it again? No. Next year Harry can make his own. I do not want to stifle his creativity. Although I must admit it looked better with a head underneath it. And I have instructed him that if he smells burning, to throw the hat off his head straight away. I hope you have enjoyed my handy and detailed guide into Easter Hat making. Becasue when I think of Easter, I always think of disco. Well I will from now on anyway.
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