August 10, 2013

What the DUCK?

Mr Woog warned me this morning that bragging on the Internets about the Duck's latest performance might make me look like a show off.

I then chastised him, saying that if we were Merkin, then celebrating brilliance so publicly is not only expected, it is actually encouraged.

So with that being said, I present to you last night's match report.

Again the Ducks played under lights, after an opening ceremony celebrating the new lights, attended by the Federal Minister, who made a speech about this and that. I didn't listen because I was too busy gathering my Duckings who were spread far and wide.

I was gathering them, as it was nearly kick off time and Coach Jim was in the country and Coach Hutto was stuck on the harbour bridge.

I spread the jerseys out and asked them to stand behind the number they usually played. Chaos ensued and eventually I sorted them out. My old teacher's voice was very handy. The opposition were gathering and with the start of the match just around the corner, it was left to me to make the pre-match hype speech. Which is actually quite difficult to do when you really have no idea about the game.

So I quoted the obvious.

“Aye, fight and you may die. Run, and you’ll live… at least a while. And dying in your beds, many years from now, would you be willin’ to trade ALL the days, from this day to that, for one chance, just one chance, to come back here and tell our enemies that they may take our lives, but they’ll never take… OUR FREEDOM!”

The Ducks ran onto the field squealing like hand flapping teenaged girls,  following that thing you do when you all stand around in a circle and put your hands in the middle and yell

"Gooooo DUCKS!"

And that little motivational speech saw the Ducks bring home a 50-nil victory.


PS The pen was a pineapple pen with a handy magnet on the back.
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