July 30, 2013

7 Quick Beauty Tips


Today I thought I would share with you some experiences from my past when it comes to beauty. It is a cheat sheet, a tip list if you will, containing some of my well kept secrets on how to keep yourself pretty.

Let us begin.

Do not go to the toilet, sit there and spy a nail polish in the drawer before deciding to give yourself a mini mani on the throne. Because you need a good ten minutes nail drying time it it makes toilet papaerage very difficult. This is especially important, if like our family, your house only has one bathroom.

Do not confuse eye make up remover with nail polish remover. They contain very different active ingredients. You will know very quickly if you make this mistake. Avoid a call to the poison centre and be mindful when it comes to these liquids.

Do not squeeze infected underpants line. Infected underpants line, or IUO can occur if you wear nasty cheap undies that rub your fat roll a bit. Avoid IUO by ponying up the extra buck for some better quality knickers. If you are unfortunate enough to be struck down by IUO, place a Band Aid on the area and forget about it.

Do not squeeze imaginary pimples because then a really nasty pimple bitch will land on your face and bring a few friends along for the ride and you have no one to blame but yourself because you created that whole scenario on your chin.

Do not kid yourself that you don't need to shave your legs because if you just put lotion on them, you can make the hairs stick down onto your legs, leaving you with the appearance of smooth pins.

Do not knock back a bottle of wine on a Friday Night and decide you are really very pasty and need to get stuck into the fake tan. You will wake up hungover and oompa-loompery.

Do not wear spanks with stilettos without knowing you are asking for trouble, especially if there is alcohol involved.

And finally, Do Not pretend to be a Beauty Blogger, when you are clearly unqualified.

Ever suffered from IUO?
Got any of your own beauty tips to share?
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