December 12, 2012

What was your worst gift ever?

I finished my Christmas shopping today and I never once had to pay Westfield Car Parking for the "inconvenience" of hosting my lovely Sonia Kluger for a few hours. (they should be paying me). I was aghast to the back strap of my nanna pants a few weeks ago to find that the FREE PARKING period had been diminished from 3 hours to 2.


False economy to the extreme, so this year I have shopped entirely online. And it has been delightful.

But this post is not about online shopping.

It is not about trying to park your car......

It is about the amount of forewarning that Mr Woog has received, often fairly bluntly, about the spirit of giving.

Years ago, when my beloved left a big, nasty, soul-sucking firm to strike out on his own, he shopped for my Christmas gift at a stationary store.

Because it was tax-deductible.

I told him where he could shove that desk compendium (firmly up his rectal passage) during the Christmas Gift Giving Marathon in front of his whole family, during the summer of 2006. 

It was the perfect storm of an ill thought-out offering, a two year old Harry and baby Jack, who we thought at the time had a multitude of developmental problems ahead...


I think I was pissed off because I had just quit my job in publishing to get my Jack running towards life at full pace. So giving me a desk compendium at this point, was perhaps a little bizarre...

Years later, after I threw it back at him, I believe it has weathered well. Such as myself and Mr Woog.

But this year, like the last... I have sent him the direct link to the object of my desire. And when I quizzed him on this.. this evening, he brushed me away with a casual flick of the wrist and assured me, he had it covered.

So I suspect I am getting a hole punch and if I am lucky... the matching tape dispenser...

Worst gift you ever got?
Confess now, We are in a safe space....
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