November 14, 2011

Ever wanted to rate yourself as a parent?

Now you can!  With my super dooper easy ten question quiz. Just like the Dolly quizes we used to do. Grab a cuppa and a pen. And no cheating!

Your child receives a Birthday Invitation. Do you:

A. Stick it on the fridge and eventually cover it up with other Birthday Party invitations and forget all about it?

B. Immediately RSVP, put the date on the Family Planner, into your iPhone Scheduling Ap and your Kikki K diary.

C. RSVP when the Birthday Child’s Parent calls you to see if you are coming or not then ask her what the date was again then write it on the calendar on the fridge.

It is fast approaching dinner time and you are too exhausted to cook. Do you:

A. Select a dish of homemade prepared meals in your freezer and blanch a handful of beans.

B. Call for Pizza Delivery

C. Prepare a spread of cereal and toast.

You are rushing late to get to school and you cannot find your car keys. Do you:

A. Announce that school has been cancelled and get back into your PJs.

B. Call random people on your class list and beg them to swing by and collect your kids. And get back into yout PJ’s

C. You never lose your car keys so this question is null and void.

You are in a long queue with a big grocery shop and your baby does a crap that travels up its back and is oozing out everywhere. Do you:

A. Leave your shopping and go to the Parents room, strip off your baby and give it a sponge bath, get it dressed again and go and start your shopping all over again.

B. Pretend that it is not happening.

C. Grab a handful of baby wipes and start plugging the leaks.

Your kid’s lunch box is:

A. No lunchbox, just a paper bag.

B. A PBP free designer insulated container from Sweden with compartments for fruit salad.

C. From the $2 shop.

Your kids engage in a massive fight which ends in tears. Do you:

A. Send them both to their room and pour yourself a wine

B. Make one apologise to the other and send them on their way.

C. Sit down with them and talk about feelings

Your involvement in your child’s place of education consists of:

A. P&C President, Canteen Duty, Class Mum and Excursion Volunteer.

B. Reading groups once a week.

C. Getting your kids to school each day.

Consumption of Coco Pops are:

A. Evil

B. Mandatory

C. For holidays only

Looking under your child’s bed you are likely to find:

A. A tonne of general rubbish, a few shoes, the car keys and a few furry pieces of fruit.

B. An under bed storage container full of clothes ready for the next season and a few stuffed toys.

C. Nothing.

You take your child to the doctor

A. When they start speaking in tongues

B. When the panadol does not bring down the fever.

C. At the first sign of a sniffle.


For each answer please give yourself the following points.

1 A(1) B(3) C(2)
2 A(3) B(2) C(1)
3 A(1) B(2) C(3)
4 A(3) B(1) C(2)
5 A(1) B(3) C(2)
6 A(1) B(2) C(3)
7 A(3) B(2) C(1)
8 A(3) B(1) C(2)
9 A(1) B(2) C(3)
10 A(1) B(2) C(3)

You Scored 1-10?

You are a total craptastic parent! Areas you can improve on is the general maintenance of your kids with a focus on hygiene and housekeeping. But having said that you are probably totally laid back and would be fun at a party.

You Scored 11-22?

Welcome to my world! This is walking a fine line between being neglectful and being a solid parent. You are probably likely to forget to buy Ballet Tickets to your kid’s concert, but will enjoy watching the DVD that you were guilted into buying.

You Scored over 22?

You need to chill the fuck out.

This quiz and loads of other helpful tips and hints about how to cut down on actual parenting while still raising an ok future citizen can be found in the pages of my eBook Tales From the Front Line. Buy your copy for just $7.95, but be quick! Stocks are limited and we may need to do a reprint.

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