October 07, 2011

The School Reunion

Coming screaming towards me like a bat out of hell is my 20 Year High School reunion.  And for once I am really looking forward to it.  Unlike other years.  And I have thought and thought about why and I finally think I have figured it out.  It is the confidence and maturity that comes along finally, after 20 long years,  that you really do not care what others think of you.  Or how successful you are.  Or how much weight you have put on or wrinkles you have gained.  You are supposed to look like that!  You are not 18 any more.

This upcoming reunion has caused me the least amount of angst out of all of them, and I thought I would share with you why I think that is.

The 5 Year School Reunion.
You may still harbour fresh memories of stupid things you did,  or of the school bully or the mean girl.  So you are stressed about seeing them again.  You are also worried that everyone else has completed their degree or have gone onto land fabulous jobs in exotic locations.  Then you end up getting shit faced and forgetting what you were worried about and the fact you just vomited on a pair of shoes you spent a months wages on.

The 10 Year School Reunion.
By this stage,  the careers are in full swing and you might find yourself slightly exaggerating your own achievements.  I recall talking to an old school acquaintance who was now a Doctor.  I remember saying to her "So really,  you could actually give me a pap smear?" and her replying in the affirmative. Freaked me out.  Then I told her she did not have to. And she just moved away from me.

You may brag about the car you drive,  where you live and the fabulous relationship that you are in with a Norwegian Male Supermodel.  Quite a few of your school mates and waving around engagement rings,  but you are cool with that as your life is so fabulous,  the thought of being tied down is just too tedious. You end up getting shit faced and forgetting why you were so worried about what you were going to wear as you watch the Head of the School Christian Group pash a barman. And then you eat a kebab on the way home as the sun comes up. One of your good friends gets a "lift" home in the back of a paddy wagon.

The 15 Year School Reunion.
Otherwise known as the "Show me yours and I will show you mine" reunion.  You and your school chums are in the breeding years and everyone pulls out photos of their kids apart from the few lesbians who pull out photos of their terrace houses.  It is wonderful to see girls who you thought were total nerds at school turn out to be brilliant,  clever and entertaining goddesses,  and the mean girls are actually quite... well.... dull.

There may be a few divorces by this point.  And a few boob jobs. A flicker of botox and a whole lot of wines going down.  Niceties disappear at around midnight and you may flash your boobs on the dance floor.  Or so I am told. Ahem.

The 20 Year School Reunion.
Breathe out and relax and leave your spanx at home.  Who the fuck cares what you have or have not done.  Who are you trying to impress?  Just have fun with no judgement or grandiose attitudes.  It has been 20 years lady.  Time to be honest and content with your lot.

I know that there are some of my school mates who are too terrified to go to our 20 Year Reunion and I think that is such a shame.  Come along,  say you invented the Post-It and 1,2,3,4 Slam It Whore!

Wear flat shoes and comfortable attire and get down and boogie with your mates that you have not seen for 20 year,s and remember the times when you could not get by a day without them.

Honest and content with my lot.

School Reunions. 
Fear and Loathing?
Fun and Fabulous?
or a little bit of both......

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