May 29, 2011

Sundays with SawHole

SawHole is feeling very old this week because two people she knows from university are celebrating their 20th anniversary.
I remember when these two were starry-eyed lovers were holding hands on the path down to our dorms.
Mrs Woog and I used to stumble down that very same path, except we were hung over and clinging to McDonald's bags.
The Divine Miss M has been invited to the anniversary party and has been told to come dressed as something from 1991.
After a significant amount of brainstorming, we decided she and her husband should go and Bob Hawke and Blanche d'Alpuget. Bob was a former Australian PM and his now wife, Blanche, was his not-so-secret lover for 32 years.
Here they are:

For the uninitiated, Bob and Blanche are infamous for coming out about their relationship while posing for a photoshoot in their bathrobes.
With material like that it is hard to resist them as the perfect costume pair.

It got me thinking about what I would wear if I was invited to this party (my invite was cancelled due to some incident involving profanity and a carparking space).
I could go as my university self in a Nivarna-style flanny, high-waisted jeans, brown belt and deck shoes. The McDonald's bag would also be included and a flagon of Peach Cooler would be another suitable accessory.

Then I would also chase random boys. I would demad they kissed me - the Pash and Dash.
As well, I would also hire some poor bastard to be my ex, Maggot, complete with Torana, Winfield Reds and Nivarna-style flanny.
But then I could also go as Madonna circa 1991.

But let's face it, no-one wants to see that.

I could go as former USSR leader Mikhail Gorbachev. This costume would be a challenge because I would need to shave my head and find some bird poo to cover it.

Mrs Woog, however, could come with a wall and a pick and pretend she was an East German, bringing down the Berlin wall.

In 1991 Silence of the Lambs was released, so I could always go as Hannible Lecter. All I need is a hockey mask and pitt to throw random people into.
That movie still scares the shit out of me. "Clarisssssssssssseeeeeeeeee." Eek!

The temptation to go as a supermodel is also there, except I am 5ft 5 and a size 14. I look more like Snooki than Cindy Crawford.

Speaking of which, does anyone have a gerbil suit? What would you go as?

Over and out.
La Hole.
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