February 28, 2011

Woogle - Part Two

Yesterday Eden Riley and I went to Google. We survived. Despite thinking I was going to throw up and get explosive diarrhea simultaneously. A couple of squirts of rescue remedy may have helped. And Eden saying "Nah mate - fuck it" a few times.

Eden saying "Nah mate, Fuck it"

We had 2 car spaces reserved for us but as we both went in Eden's car, we felt it only polite to park across both spaces. We were next to the hybrid Google Mobile which was plugged into a power point like a hairdryer.

We met Mr Blogger Man in the foyer. Google Offices are famous for being cool. And I did not want to appear like a tourist in the reception area, but then again I thought bugger it. Here is my furtive snap, taken while walking past so Mr Blogger Man did not think I was a loser housewife with no life and was dazzled by cushy life in the coolest offices in the world.

And here is a proper shot of the reception that I pulled off the net. Cool hey. Is that marijuana I spy on the right?

We were taken to the cafe and offered a beverage or something to eat. If you work for Google, you get to eat your pants off here for free! Chips, lollies and ice creams. But surprisingly, there were no fat people there. I resisted all temptation because I wanted to look cool in front of my new friends, when really I could have gone a couple of Chocolate Chip biscuits with a Drumstick Chaser. At my old place of work, we almost needed to take our own toilet paper. (tight ass publishing house)

We passed this room.

Google employees are encouraged to make use of the company subsidised massages on offer and then follow it up with a little snooze in one of their sleep pods. Mr McGraw-Hill would be rolling in his grave if he knew about this!

We entered our meeting room. And I looked at the audience and thought of only one thing.

The room was full of nerds with laptops. There were old nerds, super young nerds, a lot of American Nerds, Lady Nerds and one cute nerd.

Our chairs were up the front and behind us, some clever clogs had projected a moving fireplace behind us. So it really was a fire-side chat.
But we were not there to scoff free food and ask if anyone knew how to remove the 73 kids games that Harry had put on my iPhone. We were there to talk about blogging. And we did. Non stop. There were many questions going back and forth and it was great to see these Google Nerds were so into it all. I mean they were fantastically clever and smart. We discussed blogging in Australia and where it was headed. And I was really enjoying the conversation until Eden piped up with..
"So, who do I have to blow around here to get my blog onto Google Blogs of Note?"

Eden! You cannot say that! We are at Google! Shut the fuck up!

And it seemed over before it began. The folk at Google were very cool and I was pleased to have escaped without pissing myself. Until we could not get out of the car park for a bit.
So in conclusion, should you ever be lucky enough to get invited to go to Google, make sure you go. And take a large handbag with you and fill it up at the freebie canteen. And make sure you do not offer sexual favours to a room full of adorable nerds. And if you are a blogger, keep writing, because the future looks bright.

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