July 03, 2010

Saturdays with Saw Hole - Special Edition

Saw Hole is a fully qualified reflexologist who dabbles in cat training. She is also a wise broad full of opinions and advice. Fresh back from her trip to Albion Park Rail where she delivered a speech on Barbecue Etiquette to the local Rotary Club, Saw Hole has once again come to the rescue of a distressed reader.

Please send your own issue for Saw Hole to solve to mrswoog@hotmail.com.

Dear SawHole,

My girlfriend recently got promoted to a very important position and it appears she is going to be working a lot, under enormous pressure and travelling a fair bit. I have always been very supportive and, being in the hairdressing business myself, I have had to put my own career on the backseat. Having accepted this position of importance, how can I let my girlfriend know that I have some reservations when it comes to the future of our relationship?

Do I schedule a meeting with her press secretary? What happens to date night? When will we ever get the chance to get jiggy with it? How do I know she is not thinking about Wayne?

Please Help SawHole,


Dearest Tim,

Let's from the outset acknowledge you are an absolute rock. Not only can you colour, cut and straighten, you also have the ability to smile pleasantly at the cameras. What more could a woman want? It must be hard for you feeling as though you are nothing more than a manbag.

That is not true. Tim, what you need is a title and a new GHD. Would First Bloke, Favorite Fella or The Man do? As you will be working overtime, I would go to your girlfriend and tell her you need a new job description, plus a discretionary bonus at the end of the financial year. Whatever you do, refuse the bloody Blackberry because it will take over your life.

I am sorry to say this but you will have to call her press secretary to schedule time with your girlfriend. However, due to the nature of her work, you have the distinct advantage of being able to 'get jiggy' with her in her jet. What more could you want? If you play your cards right, you may also be able to live in the Canberra Castle, where there is no doubt a butler who will be able to serve you gin and tonics in the Keating Kourtyard.

As for Wayne, I would be more worried about Anthony. With choppers like that Albo, I would not be turning my back on him.

Now stop your bloody whinging please and get over to Stocko to do my hair.

Hail Comrade,

Saw Hole.
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