June 24, 2010

Memo from Mrs Woog

Re-reading yesterdays post, A Letter To Myself, I realised I was a bit harsh. I am in fact a terrific person and all my flaws are caused by the actions of others around me. Today I am inspired by our new PM Jules Gillard for her willingness to step up and drag us out of shit. Her droning straight-talking will be a breath of fresh air. Plus she is a ranga and I have a theory they are going to take over the world. Following the notion that change begins in your own backyard, I dish out the following memos to the members of My Party, Woogsworld.

To; Mr Woog
In response to the noticeable lack of the morning coffee delivery of late, you may also notice a similar absence of nookie. I will leave this in your hands to rectify, which is where you are headed anyway.

To; H Woog
Mr Woog does not work his ass off so I can go and get drunk at Tupperware Parties and buy you lunchboxes so you can use them as the class soccer ball. Desist.

To; J Woog
If you ask me one more time when we are going to The Fairyland Party, we will not be going. Also, I am not explaining again to you why we are not going to the PlaySchool Concert. Because I forgot to get the tickets alright.

To; Wilson Cat
It is always a touchy subject when someone brings up your weight. It is just I want you to be the best cat you can be and be happy within yourself. Stop eating your feelings.

To; XO Guinea Pig
I apologise again for your stupid name but for the love of god please stop eating your hutch.

The Leader has spoken.

PS If Woogsworld gets 10,000 page-loads by today, I will eat the hat of your choice. xo

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