September 14, 2013

How to Handle a Snake

So we have reached over the halfway point in my Year Of Turning 40, a year which I promised I would say yes to things that would normally have me running and screaming for the hills like some sort of mad woman.

I am pleased to report that I have now achieved the following this year.


  • Snorkeling the Great Barrier Reef.
  • Flown in a Helicopter, albeit very panicky about it.
  • Been on live TV and living to tell the tale.
  • Eaten steak tar tare.
  • Walked across a carpet of smashed up broken glass.
  • Been to a personal trainer. TWICE!
  • Played Laser Skirmish.
  • Visited the Prime Ministers house twice, each time with a different Prime Minister in residence.
  • Done a radio show with Wendy Harmer.
  • Picked up a dead rat with BBQ Tongs.
  • Resisted the urge to fill my head up with botox.
  • Touching a starfish and a sea cucumber.

And now my friends, something else to add to the list! And this one was a biggie.

You see, ever since I can remember, I have had a terrifying fear of snakes. They continue to haunt me in my dreams. We once moved house because there was a snake living under the dwelling and I would have to run and leap over the front verandah when entering or exiting the place.

Like you might have done when you were a kid, getting into bed.

BECAUSE THERE WAS PROBABLY A FUCKING SNAKE LIVING UNDER THERE TOO......

Remember that film called Snakes on a Plane?

I cannot even!

Anyway, I am still at the Problogger Conference here on the Gold Coast, and last night the organisers put on a spectacular party. It was awesome. As the night wore on and the booze flowed freely, I set up a little confessional booth for bloggers, who would come to me for relationship advice, health advice, mortgage advice, whatever. For some reason, I kind of had the answer to everyones problems, but I cannot share them here, because CONFESSIONAL.

But I can let you know that a lot of women there had fears, like most people do. Darren Rowse, the Problogger, had delivered a very inspiring key note that morning, about fears and realising them and why you should push through them and challenge yourself.

I LOVE MOTIVATIONAL SPEECHES! I find them very motivational.

So, after I sorted out the problems of the world, I decided to go and pat some snakes, why they were at the party? I have no idea...

All I knew was that I was a bit pissed and I wanted to get my snake on.



And that is how you handle a snake, while channelling Elizabeth Taylor circa 1967.

Have you ever handled a snake?
What is your biggest fear?
And please no smart ass comments about trouser snakes, because that is just immature. AND HILARIOUS!

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