Every Monday night I sleep fitfully. My nerves start churning and my old friend Mrs Self Doubt and her bitchy mate Madame Anxiety pops in to say hi.
Because for the last 3 weeks I have been on a national television show on Channel 7 called The Daily Edition. More specifically, I am on a panel called The Debrief where I chat with close friends Monique, the host, and fellow bloggers Beth and Kerri. I haven't really made a big deal about it because I was worried about what other people would say.....
Emails I get, hate forums pick apart the small stuff. Trolls.
BUT.....
At the beginning of the year, I decided to stop saying no to stuff that I feared. As a result I have snorkelled, been on radio, volunteered for canteen, hand fed a bad tempered fish, flown in a helicopter, picked up a dead rat, walked across broken glass, spoke up when I normally wouldn't and said yes to a regular television gig.
WHO THE FUCK AM I?
I am turning 40 in a few days and my life is passing me by, with me being held back by my own fears. And that, my friends, it is complete bullshit.
That chick up there?
That size 18 chick should not be on television. We are the invisible women, don't you know? Over 40 and over the hill. She normally would never post a full length picture of herself. But there she is.
She has no business sprouting off about social commentary. She has been told in emails that she sounds like a tranny crossed with a truckie. And guess what....
I DO! I really do. My voice is not floral and lovely.
But it is mine. And I like using it.
So this year I am saying yes to all those things that I would normally say no to.
And a little bit of me feels free.
This is an Open Ended Exam Question with no wrong answers.
What is holding YOU back?
And if you say nothing, you are a rare and lucky creature.
Sorry for going all Oprah-esque on your ass.
I just know that this is a bit of an epidemic for a lot of us.
