I had to go shopping today in my once a year Woog Family undie replacement program. Mr Woog may not have even bothered wearing undies lately, they were so full of holes. And poor Jack is 5 and wearing size 3 undies. Anyway, details aside, we needed undies. Reg Grundies. Stat.
I called Mr Woog on the way to the shops and asked him what size he was. He told me 3XL in the front and Small at the back. I told him he was an idiot and it was not too late to get an annulment if I found the right lawyer.
I was very focused on my undie buying spree and I went to the place that customer service forgot. Myer at Chatswood, where I was actually yelled at for swiping my card instead of inserting the chip.
While I was there, I decided to do a little window shopping. I did not need anything, just having a look around. I was drawn to all things leopard print, even through The Divine Ms M had recently gone through my closet and made me promise I would not buy anything else that had leopard print on it. I swear I am a long lost relative of Jackie Collins. Or Charlie Brown.
And speaking of Charlie Brown, I walked past her store and a beautiful silk kaftan kind of threw itself into my hands. I looked around for the owner. I saw that it was on sale and I felt sorry for it. So I bought it. And I have absolutely not place to wear it. But it was not leopard print.
I may or may not have eaten a cheeseburger.
Then I walked to the car feeling guilty about the Kaftan and the cheeseburger when I saw this in the Country Road window. And my heart stood still. It may be slightly leopard print but it was 100% Love.
Country Road Fluffy Faux you Naux you Haux.
Except this is what it would look like on me, if I looked like this chick. I hate the rest of that outfit though. And I am also sporting a slightly different physique. I think I should have given HER the cheeseburger.
So apart from this vest making my ta-tas look more enormous than usual, please tell me why I should not purchase this. Meow.
