Wired for Sound

One of the down sides of having a child with a disability is the endless hours spent in waiting rooms, waiting to see health specialists.  And this week,  Jack and I will be clocking up quite a few.

But this afternoon,  we are off to an appointment that we are both excited about.  We are getting an FM system fitted.  An FM system looks like this....

The idea is that the teacher/parent/tennis coach/ ballet instructor wears the loopy thing around their neck and put this mobile phone looking thingy in their pocket. (Please excuse my technical terms)  The mobile phone thingy is turned on and tuned into an FM channel which is compatible to Jack's hearing aids. This  means that when the wearer speaks,  the sound is beamed straight into the hearing aids,  thus eliminating any background noise. Understand? Good.... because it took some time for me to get it. (I still think it looks like an electric IUD)

Tomorrow I have to show Jack's teacher,  the Saintly Miss K,  how to use it. And also warn her that she must get into the habit of switching it on and off as required.  As you could imagine,  it is fraught with potential embarrassing situations.  Like if the Saintly Ms K goes to the loo and forgets to turn it off at lunch. Especially if she has had a lentil curry the night before.  Or she has a little bitch about one of the kids,  or one of their parents...although she is unlikely to do so,  as she is saintly.

Me?  I am seeing the extreme potential for self gain.  Like when I am in the office,  I can switch it on and say "Jack,  please bring Mummy a Diet Coke." Or if I am cooking and the bins are full I can switch it on and say "Jack,  please report to the kitchen for a domestic chore." or if I am really bored,  I can switch it on and say "Jack,  ask your dad if he has put on a little weight........"

But most of all I am excited that he will be hearing 100% for 100% of the time.

FM. Not just for this idiot anymore

Heart of Gold

The use of an FM system in the classroom is recommended to improve Jack's understanding of speech in noise.

Yesterday Jack chucked a sickie. It was a legit sickie, unlike the ones where he convinces me he is on death's door only to bounce back with a bullet at about 10am. But yesterday he was not sick, but we had 3 hours of hearing tests in the middle of the day and I am being kind to myself so we called it. A day off school.

After our few hours of audio testing and discussion, it was decided that Jack would benefit from having an FM system to use in his classroom so he can hear his teacher, The Saintly Miss K, over the din that comes with 23 5 year olds competing for attention. Which can get quite loud. Particularly if one of the kids goes toilet in his pants. I can speak from experience here because once upon a time, I was a kindergarten teacher. Can you imagine???

The FM looks like a small mobile phone that the Saintly Miss K wears. It has a small microphone that beams her voice directly into Jack's hearing aids. It is very effective and high-tech and she will be warned about having to turn it off when she is not teaching. Like when she goes to the loo, or has a bitch about one of the parents (which she never would do as she is saintly) I am already plotting some weekend fun with the FM system.

"Jack, go outside and get me the paper."
"Jack, go and tell your dad he has put on weight."

After hours of testing in a place that tests my own patience, I was so proud of Jack that I told him we could have a fun activity of his choosing. Normally kids would choose a trip to the toy shop or perhaps an ice-cream. But Jack, being a man of style and a sticker for grooming, suggested we pop out for a manicure. And I agreed. So like most mother and son, we selected our colours, got polished then sat under the dryer and discussed world peace. And our favourite lollies.

(She wears OPI Chicago Champagne Toast. He wears OPI Heart of Gold)