May 21, 2012

No, I don't have Munchasuen By Proxy.

My 6 year old son is currently putting in a 4 day week at his educational institute due to this MOFO lurg that he has managed to pick up. Jack was miserable yesterday. The snot factory was working overtime. His little born eyes are watery and he has a cough that hacks away like a pack-a-day-of-winnie-reds hard core durrie puffer.

He had a play date on Saturday with a little girl from his class. Jack is very popular on the play date circuit due to his incessant charm. His little friend and him played and coughed and played and sneezed. Together!

I am doing everything I can. Like dropping a fifty at the chemist, running around with that hand sanitizer stuff that I have spent years scoffing at and dispensing Panadol like we have established our own methadone clinic.

I feel like putting a big banner across our house. or at least this on the door.


Jack has a significant hearing loss which he has had since birth, but now he is completely deaf due to the phlegm party going on in his middle ear. A party that is going to get hosed down today, with a dose of antibiotics. THE COPS ARE COMING PHLEGM. FLUSH YOUR STASH.

So I am off to the doctor AGAIN, where she will give me a script for Jack and no double ask me to fill in a questionnaire to see whether her suspicion  that I am riding the Munchausen By Proxy wave is correct.

And I am going to give her a presentation on why I think establishing a frequent flyer style marketing program would benefit the practices's bottom line.

Do you get sick of sick kids?
What is your secret to dodging the lurg?

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