November 04, 2011

Parenting 101 - Dodging Bullets

"You and your child are invited to an information evening for all 1012 prospective New Band Members.  This is to take place in the school Hall at 6.30pm. This is an important evening and both Junior Band and Concert Band will be performing especially for you. You will get all the information needed on how to join the band program and hear the instruments and ask many questions."
-a note delivered by Harry on Wednesday

My only question I have is "How the fuck am I going to get out of this one?"

Extra curricular activities are important for a child's overall development and allows skills and talents to be showcased and celebrated.  I am all for them,  but have imposed a strict limit of 3 activities.  The only mandatory one is swimming lessons all year round.  I see this as a life insurance policy.

Our local primary school is fantastic. There are so many activities offered. Your kid can do tennis, athletics, science, Robotics, choir, Spanish, Stamp Club, Karate, Tae kwan-do and of course.... Spanish! Ole! Even through my kids already speak Spanish thanks to a diet of Dora for 5 years.

The reason I had an aversion to band is purely selfish. It was going to take a huge commitment,  and for something I suspected that Harry was going to hate after the first lesson.  There was another note stapled to the first sheet. It read.

"Today Harry was assessed for instrument suitability to join the wonderful band program for 1012. Through my assessment of mouth formation, over-bite, under-bite, jaw placement, lip size, physical size and personality, I have assessed Harry to be suited to......... Bass Guitar."

For some reason this disturbed me and made me have a really good look at Harry's mouth.  And it would mean purchase of said bass guitar,  lessons,  driving him around with bass guitar in the back of the Mazda to the MANY performances that they do plus then selling the bass guitar on eBay when Harry chucked it in.

So I needed to plan a sneaky diversion tactic to make Harry want to not do band any more.  I am horrible and going straight to hell.

"Darling I am so excited about you being in the band!  Think off all those lunchtimes practising with the band and the band master while your mates are outside getting hot and running around playing footy. And do not forget you are going to have to practice for half an hour each day, straight after your homework.  Of course it means we will have to drop one of the other activities you do. Which one would you like to replace with band?"

Harry then looked at the options and took about 3 seconds to decide he did not want to do band any more.  This news was met with "Well darling,  it is totally up to you." while inside I was doing cartwheels.

And that is how I dodged a bullet this week. And crushed a short lived dream.

Where do you draw the line when it comes to kids activities?

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