September 22, 2011

Long time listener, first time caller. Confessions of a talk back junkie.

I have a confession.

I listen to talk back radio.  I know it is rotting my brain but I cannot help it. Like yesterday,  I had dropped the boys off to school and spent some time sitting in Sydney traffic listening to Alan Jones tell grandparents to tell their grand kids to tell their teachers that homework is ruining young lives and wrecking Australian Families.

What the fuck......

SawHole has something to say on the matter.

Now before I spread my rant wings and allow them to fly, I must admit I do listen to the radio quite a bit. But, ladies and gents, it is who you listen to that matters in my petty debate. I listen to Carol Duncan on ABC 1233 Newcastle . Her discussions tend to be rational, reflective and most of all freaking funny, so I have nothing to feel bad about when it comes to my radio listening habits.

Someone else does, however. A certain Mrs Woog.

She loves a bit of talkback, the AM type, with a splattering of "Sydney's best traffic" thrown in on the half an hour. Don't believe me? I have seen the Woogsworld radio tuned into 2UE and 2GB, the icons that have spawned greats such as John Laws and Alan Jones.

All it does is make her stabby. 

Case in point. Bob from The Shire calls up about Muslims hiking up bank fees. Mrs Woog abandons her pile of clean washing and stops the folding to let out a huge: "FARK! You idiot!"

The same happens when Marge from The Mountains calls up about rumours of a same-sex bridal store opening up in the Penrith Mall. "FARK! You idiot!"

Mrs Woog if you want proof of the stupidity of your fellow man, you need not listen to talkback radio, you just need to find the people who leave their working televisions on the side of the road during council clean up. This has to stop. The television dumping and the listening to talkback radio.

Oops I have been interrupted again. It is Les from the Central Coast on the line saying climate change is the work of the masses. But hold on, that is too rational. Let's dump this brother! Clunk. Dial tone.

We taught that one a lesson. 
Back at Woogsworld - stab, stab, stab.

None of this is easy on me, as the stabbier Mrs Woog is, the more upsetting my tasks become, such as cleaning Mr Woog's festy plate left on top of the dishwasher, changing the toilet roll after him and bringing Doug Woog's food to his hiding place.

Talkback radio is a no-winner for me. Same goes for Mrs Woog. This has to stop, Mrs Woog. Like now.

But what would I know? I am just an ABC Wanker. I'm off to listen to Radio National now.
Goodbye Plebs.
PS No average Australians in marginal seats were hurt in the manufacture of this piece of writing. But that is a good point, someone should have made those mainstreamers beg for mercy. Now where's Richard Glover?

What do you listen to on the radio? 
Do you listen to talk back? Have you ever called in?
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