June 06, 2011

Opposite Day

My story about today, 6th June 2011.

Except is was the exact opposite

I woke up this morning, stretched and smiled to myself. It was a Monday. My favourite day of the week. New beginnings and another week of wonderfulness. I wandered past my children, who both looked up from their quiet colouring in and greeted me with warm tones and enquired to my well being.

I jumped onto the scales and breathed a big sigh of relief. Another weekend of early nights and clean living had assisted me to shift those last pesky 2 kilos and now I had finally got my pre baby body back! Miranda Kerr was right - it WAS not that hard! I wandered into the kitchen to pop the kettle on. I was going to celebrate with a steaming cup of chamomile tea.

I patted myself on the back for remembering to clean the kitchen up from last nights gourmet dinner and was thankful to Mr Woog for unpacking the dishwasher this morning before putting his own breakfast things away. Then I read the note he left me.

My Darling Mrs Woog, I want you to rest and relax today. I love you more than words can say and I am sorry I got cross when you spent all that money at the Charlie Brown Sale. Will call you at lunchtime. Love Mr Woog. xx (and two love hearts intertwined)

So sweet! He is the most romantic person I know.....

I went to the bathroom and was pleased that there was no drops of piss on the seat. I checked in the mirror and was satisfied that my small case of hormonal acne seemed to have sorted itself out. And I did a root inspection and marvelled at the fact that at my age, I still not not have any grey hairs.

I got changed quickly into an outfit that just seemed to work and exuded a certain style that was sure to be featured in Grazia soon. My skin gleamed from regular facials, so just a touch of tinted moisturiser was all I needed. I was done. Now time to get the kids ready.

To my complete surprise, Harry and Jack were sitting at the kitchen table fully dressed and eating cereal. I thanked them both for their initiative and apologised for interrupting their discussion on how Jack may try and improve his self esteem. I made two divine lunchboxes up for them with a true organic balanced offering. I would never DREAM of letting my kids order from the canteen! You just never know what goes into that food.......

We were all ready earlier than usual so we parked a few blocks away from school so we could enjoy a walk through the park and stop at our local cafe. When we alighted from the car, I noticed that Jack had his school bag. At the cafe, I resisted the urge to order a soy, decaf chai latte and instead opted for a carrot, apple and wasabi juice as I was into day one of my detox. And if nothing else, I am known in my social circle as a gal who always finishes things that she starts.

After walking the kids into school and having a brief but meaningful discussion with both of their teachers about their amazing brilliance, I went and did the fruit and veg shopping. Now I do not know what all the fuss is about! The cost of living in teeny tiny! I was not at all shocked when the super friendly check out chick told me my total.

I ran into a school mum and we had a wonderful chat about her interesting home renovations before she complimented me on my puffer vest and how they made my breasts look tiny.

I came home to find an email from Holden saying that despite emailing me before saying that the joke was over and I needed to give the demo car back, that they were actually letting me keep it!

I also had an email from After School Care commending me on my ability to promptly pay bills.

Which brings us up to now. And as much as I love hanging out on social media, there are far more important things I need to be doing. Like a pump class at Fitness First followed my book club, where we are discussing a non-fiction title that will help me be a better housewife.

Have a wonderful day!

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