May 03, 2011

The Shit List A/W11

  • People who sign off emails with BEST

  • When you say Hi to someone and they answer with Good Thanks

  • Anyone who starts a sentence with "At the end of the day...."

  • When a shop assistant insists you are a size 10 when clearly you are not

  • When the lady at the Underwear section at Myer in Chatswood serves you - you know the one I am talking about if you shop there. Want to reach over and slap her.

  • Taxi drivers that talk too much

  • Taxi drivers who are creepily silent apart from checking text messages from their murderous accomplice as they work out where to dispose of your body.

  • Smug, groomed mums who make homemade duck ravioli on like, a Tuesday night, and then try and tell you how easy it is to do.

  • PR folk who get upset with you if you do not want to give their random mundane product a free plug on your blog. You know who you are you cheeky monkey!

  • How Jack's shoes are like a magnet to dog shit.Paddle Pop stick + tissue + rubberband = gag.

  • How Mr Woog tells me he has "nothing left in the tank" at 7pm and sits on the couch with a beer.

  • When you are introduced to a bus stop mum for the tenth time and she still pretends that she has never met you before. Amanda, we have met before or are you just really cranked up on xanax?

  • People that do not share their xanax.

  • Mystery Mazda side swipes. I never lock the bloody thing. Just steal it already!

  • Kids eating yogurt on my couch before I get up in the morning.

  • Puffer anything. Including vests and fish and smokers.

  • Please feel free to add anything to my shit list as I go and lick my nicotine patch.


    Mrs Woog (see how irritating it is?)

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