May 19, 2011

Stoli Original Fund

I sometimes get emails from companies wanting me to spruik their stuff on my blog and when Stoli Vodka popped into my box, who am I to say no!

Stoli Vodka, well it is vodka and I know how many of us sometimes partake in a small tipple of the clear stuff on special occasions, whether that be a wedding or any day ending with a Y. So we like. And the folks at Stoli are givers. And they want to give away money.

The delightfully ridiculously named Brand Manager Frederick Duarte says: “Stoli is the world’s most original vodka and we want to reward the genuine originality of Australians with the 2011 Stoli Original Fund. We’re excited to uncover some real talent and by offering a platform to showcase original ideas, we hope to help original people unleash their dream idea and turn it into a reality.”

So Frederick, I offer you up the following suggestions for the 2011 Stoli Original Fund.

Cashmere Merkin
Now that the weather has turned, there is no need to freeze your lady parts off. I propose a range of luxury cashmere merkins, sourced only from organic cashmeres reared on a mix of vodka and fois gras. Each merkin can be customised to the wearers particular shade of choice and numbered for authenticity tracking. Presented in a Mother Of Pearl box.

The Sunday Fun Bus Factory
I have had this idea up my sleeve for ages and am constantly surprised that no one has done this before (It is MY idea Richard Branson - piss off). What you have is a double decker bus that has a handful of babysitters on it. It parks in your street and lets of a little toot about 7am. You take your kids out to the bus and swipe through your credit card. A bit like a parking meter with a timer on it. You pay per usage. The bus has activities on it and serves breakfast for the kids and has a little kiosk at the rear of the bus that serves coffee, beroccas, panadols and newspapers for the adults. Parents are then free to go back for the morning and perhaps get a little rumpy pumpy action in.

This is a unique device that allows you more time with your family. For an outrageous initial outlay and some training, you will quickly be able to use all of the functions of the Woogomix to help you select from a wide range of takeaway menus.

Mrs Woog's Shocking iPhone Ap
A tailored iPhone ap which does the following;

  • Gives you an electric shock whenever you give another driver the finger

  • Gives you an electric shock when you accept an invitation to a party sales event

  • Gives you an electric shock if you forget it is the kids mufti day (today)

  • Gives you an electric shock when you think you want to go to IKEA.

  • Gives Mr Woog an electric shock when he looks at me with lustful thoughts.

Do you have a better original idea and want to write a little bit about it and get a cheque for $1000? Then go and enter before some Gen Y idiot designs a pair of stupid eco shoes made of grass and takes your money. And come back and let you know YOUR original idea.

To enter, entrants must upload to the Stoli Vodka Australia Facebook page an image that captures their original idea, along with a 200 word or less blurb explaining what the original idea is, why it is original, and how a $1000 Stoli Fund could help make it happen. To enter and for full details visit!/StoliVodkaAustralia
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