Dear Sawhole
There is something that has been bugging me, well quite a few things but lets concentrate on the most annoying.
When did life and motherhood become a competition?
And not even in a who can do that first or whose kid walks first way. It is a my night was worse then yours my partner helps out less then yours type of way! WHY? Are my feelings not valid? Are they the only person in the whole wide world that's allowed to have a fucked up day?
I have a family member who is always like this and I just don't know what to do anymore.
I feel like I have to walk on eggshells, that I can't express my joy or excitement because they will always bring me down with a negative comment. Its like they thrive on negativity but will be the first to complain if no one gives them that attention.
As far as i see it they have really nothing to complain about but they always find something. They have amazing family support (even though they bitch they don't)
Amazing, beautiful children (even though they complain left right and centre about them)
In all honestly i just don't understand how they don't see how lucky and extremely blessed they are.
Don't get me wrong. I know we all have bad days but this person seems to be always having one and I'm just about ready to give up and stop trying, because there is always an excuse for EVERYTHING! I'm sick of being brought down by their negativity.
They are like one of those annoying customers that are always right even if they are wrong!
The phrase that pretty much sums up what I want to say to her is "suck it up princess" but my gawd that would cause world war 3 amongst the family and who could be bothered with that drama!
I think I've chewed your ears off enough. Any advice SawHole?
Yours sincerely,
Emily
xx
Dearest Emily,
It sounds to me like you need some help from my Nanna Freda. She loved a good stoush and was not backward in coming forward. Freda would be more than happy to tell your troublesome relative to 'suck it up, princess'.
One of my earlier memories is of Freda lying down in the back of my Mum's car while we did a reconnaissance mission past the home of the her latest victim. It was all cloak and dagger until the coast was clear, then Nanna's head would pop up from the backseat and attempt to locate her target.( With that type of training it is now wonder SawHole and Mrs Woog were accomplished Maggot fly-byers. ) Stalking is in my genes.
We all know people who just have to burden you with their negativity. Unfortunately this person is a relative in your case, so not returning their calls is not an option.
There are three ways you can go on this and only you can decide what works within your family:
1. You can try not to let it bother you. How? Have a look at this website on Mindfulness. Mindfulness has stopped me giving other drivers the finger, so there is something to be said for the technique.
2. Assert yourself. Sometimes people do need to have, as Mrs Woog says, 'ripped a new bottom hole'. A degree of conflict can be healthy.
3. Send them to Cambodia and get them a job volunteering in an orphanage. Then they will count their lucky stars. Bloody whingers.
Also it sounds like whomever it is really has a negative life. They are unhappy enough so make yourself feel smug on that alone. I have one of these types in my orbit. When Miss Charisma was born she delighted in telling me how big she was and then said: "Oh, that's right, she is a breastfed baby." She also said that people with depression 'are just putting it on'. This person is now on SawHole's shit list and has been voted off the island. You can do that too! Think of it as option number 4.
Or put their name in the freezer and think negative thoughts. Worked for Nanna Freda.
Over and Out
SawHole
xo
