November 21, 2010

GO GIRL - Ingenious Invention Alert # 4

I have a particular aversions to public toilets. But on occasion, I do need to make use of the amenities on offer. You see I have a talent for choosing the cubicle which houses a large, floating, brown turd, roughly the size of a baby's arm. It is a gift I have. Some people play the piano.

Alas I was confused when this product popped into my inbox recently. Study it for a minute, and have a think what it possibly might be.

Give up? 

It is a FUD. What is a FUD? Let's ask the chicks from the Go Girl Marketing Department.

Simply put, GoGirl is the way to stand up to crowded, disgusting, distant or non-existent bathrooms. It’s a female urination device (sometimes called a FUD) that allows you to urinate while standing up. It’s neat. It’s discreet. It’s hygienic.

GoGirl is easy to use. Just lower your panties, and put GoGirl against your body, forming a seal. Aim and, well, pee. Pretty simple, huh?

GoGirl fits easily in your purse, pocket, or glove compartment. It’s a must for travel and sports. And it’s great for everyday––no more crouching over or trying to cover up an unsanitary public toilet.

Only GoGirl is made with flexible, medical grade silicone. Dispose of it after use. Or clean and reuse as you like. (Urine is sterile, but the product can come into contact with contaminates during use, so take precautions when cleaning.) 

Our patented splash guard eliminates messing and spilling. Once you practice a time or two, using a GoGirl is going to feel like second nature. You won’t be like a man. You’ll just pee like one.

So they want you to exchange your poon for a peen, just while you pee. And then roll your piss soaked faux doodle up and stick it back into your handbag! 

I have seen them reviewed by bloggers in the states recently, whom I am desperate to link this post to*, but am concerned the Go Girl Mafia will Go Get Me! For preferring to pee sitting down. And the whole idea is fucking ludicrous. Not to mention fraught with slap-stick type comedy scenarios.

It is all a bit too much for me on a Sunday, but please let me know if you order one (so I can strike you off my Christmas Card list)

*did I say desperate?
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