Because I am a fuckwit sometimes, I am quite often convinced to attend Tupperware parties. And at these Tupperware Parties, quite often wine is served. And quite often I partake heavily in these refreshments. And quite often I receive a phone call the following day asking me to confirm a date to host my own, as agreed upon after consumption of said alcohol.
So I was staring at the calendar on the fridge on Monday thinking, FUCK. Is that Tupperware party really going to happen on Friday. Here. No. I have hosted one before, and my buddy The Divine Ms M almost ended our friendship over it. But then again she was in the family way and not partaking in champers. But there is something about Tupperware that I find hard to say no to, a bit like a McChicken Burger.
So I put out a call out to WoogsWorld Readers to help me come up with a good excuse to get out of it. Suggestions flooded in. I was not alone in the pradicament and I am so glad I asked for help. I have compiled this handy guide for all to use as a future reference.
Mrs Woog's Ultimate Guide to.........
Getting out of Hosting a Tupperware Party that You agreed to Host while Pissed.
If I wanted to hang with a bunch of north shore mummies, I would do it at the Kirribilli markets. They at least have good coffee and views.
Greenpeace has contacted me and assessed my cupboard. According to them, the amount of Tupperware I have equals a crime against the environment.
Double-booked. Clashes with my Scientology audit day.
Mr Woog and I have decided to recycle and buy nothing new for a year, except food, vodka and facials.
Apologise and say you have decided against a Tupperware party and do not wish to go into the reasons why.
Move house on Thursday.
Say - It's not me, It's you.
You would be too embarrassed to have the Pink TupperCar out the front of your house.
I always say yes to stupid things when I am drunk - Ask Mr Woog!
I think it would be better if you just told Tupperchick that you have had 5 people drop out and only 1 person coming now. Curse and swear those imaginary guests like the rude whorebags they are and take the heat off yourself. *
No, you can't rebook because you are going o/s next month.
If you feel really bad offer to have a catalogue party then curse all your friends for not ordering.
Tell her you are having a Merkin Makers Anonymous party instead.
Tell her it will clash with your Amway Presentation.
Dear Annette,
So now no one is coming on Friday! And I have just had to put 4 new tyres on the car so have no funds for T/Ware. I am going to have to cancel our catch up scheduled for Friday.
I am sorry but I do not want to waste your time.
Thanks for your help and understanding.
Mrs Woog
and within 7 seconds of pressing send, I got this back.
Hi Mrs Woog,
Thanks for the ‘heads up’ re: Friday’s catch up.
I will pop a catalogue in the post for you anyway-you’ll probably get requests/orders from those that were not able to actually attend.
Perhaps, with a few orders, I’ll still be able to give you some new Tupperware goodies.
Keep in touch. I’ve no doubt that when you do a Tuppa Get-together it’ll definitely be successful.
Chat soon,
Annette
CHAT SOON!!?? But bit excited about the new catalogue..... NO focus! Insert Electric Shock Therapy treatment.
Oh dear they are lovely and persistent. And thanks to everyone who wrote in, I can now draw from all of these wonderful suggestions. You should print it out and put it on your fridge as well. And a special thanks to Lulu*, whose suggestion I actually used. One WoogsWorld T-shirt on it's way to you my dear.
And if you see me ANYWHERE near a Tupperware party in the future, take the drink out of my hand and escort me quickly and quietly to the door. Thank you.
