August 07, 2010

Saturdays with SawHole # 7

The T Shirt, the iconic style item is still listed on eBay with all proceeds going to the Shepherd Centre. Do not be an idiot and wait right till the last second to bid, because that is what I usually do and there is always some granny out there successfully snatching the Engelbert Humperdinck tickets right out from under my nose. PLEASE CLICK AND BID. If you do not win the Uberkate Giveaway, you will have a solid back up gift for Father's Day.

Ok - so enough with the cross promotion Mrs Woog! JEEEEZZZE.

Getting to the point of why we check in each Saturday, I give you SawHole. When this issue arose from a lady from the States, I thought that there was no way she could answer it. But never underestimate her....................................

Dear SawHole,

I am a single mom and my daughter has recently started school. My problem is that I have a crush on her school teacher. He is single, straight and cute.
What should I do??


Dearest Annabelle,

SawHole has been known to search high and low for love interests. From the iconic Rafters Bar in Bathurst to The Hairy Canary in Melbourne, SawHole has been known to shake her tail feather in a most vigorous fashion at bars across Australia.

SawHole even has her own teacher story, which involves a history teacher who moonlighted as an unfunny comedian. That dalliance, however, ended because he did not drink alcohol and SawHole had a propensity for drunken text messages. So Annabel, you are on to something here.

However, SawHole must raise questions about the following:

1. This guy will have loads of 'pull factor' due to the fact he is hot and a kindy teacher, so it is unlikely that he is single. You say single, so in this case I will agree and hope you are right.

2. Have you considered the fact he might be a player? This could get ugly if he is dating you and another Mum at the same time. I hope it never comes to one the other Mums hitting you over the head with a fake Birkin, while yelling: "B........I..................T................C...............H".

3. We have to take into account the pull factor and consider that if he is single, what may be wrong with him? Sure he may not have found the one and he may have just broken up with a dental nurse named Fiona. Or maybe he is on bail for EBAY fraud. Who knows? There must be someone at the school who can tell you why he is single.

Now assuming it all checks out, you need then to ascertain whether he is interested. This is where things get difficult because SawHole normally grabs men around the neck and forces them to kiss her. However, if he is interested, you will know because we chicks always know. If he does not send the right vibes your way, don't waste the pretty, as they say in He's Just Not that Into You. Buy a new dress, go out with the girls (not to one of the venues I mentioned) and do the pash and dash.

What's that you ask? Well, in our younger days Mrs Woog and I used to pick targets, run over to them, make them kiss us and then we would run away and celebrate our hilarity. No wonder I was single for a long, long time.

So Cheers to you, Annabelle, on the field of life which is the dating game,

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