Before I begin - may I clarify that nothing in Woogworld is made up.
This morning, J and I were walking down the street in the lovely sunshine. We walked past Bakers Delight and J requested a cheeseymite scroll. I looked lovingly down at his little face suggested it was a bit early for lunch and we would make something when we get home. Being 3, J had some strong objections to my ideas and expressed himself as best he could, with a 8.9 on the Richter scale falling-down hissyfit.
I was mild to moderately embarrassed as there were a LOT of people around and J was wearing purple fairly wings. Then two young policemen walked past.
"Police! Watch out J! They might come and get you!" I exclaimed.
They stopped, turned around and headed my way. Holy Shit!! I did not know it was illegal to lie on the pavement and scream!
"Excuse me Ma'am. We are having problems with a lot of kids and their attitude to police and it comes from comments like the one you just said. Kids are scared of police and we are having trouble talking and getting them to talk to us. If we are to build a mutual trust with kids, we need parents to demonstrate that police are the good guys" said the 22 year old boy/policeman.
While he was saying this, he was doing a lot of Whitney Houston Crack Whore style finger wagging while the other policeman stood next to him with his arms folded.
EXCUSE ME!!!!!!
The bristles stood up on the back of my neck. I proceeded to spend the next 5 minutes pointing out the irony that J, by this stage, was cowering beind my legs, quickly forming his own opinion. They had guns! They were speaking in a mean way. I told them that the fact they they were acting so intimidating towards me, made me think that parents had nothing to do with kids opinions about police.
I then asked "Sir, do you have children?? Have you ever tried to go past a Baker's Delight with them?" People were walking past and staring as I gave it back to him with both barrels. (no pun intended)
I then suggested a friendlier presence in the community was warranted and perhaps the force should re-visit the good cop/bad cop model so successfully demonstrated on shows such as Miami Vice and 21 Jump Street.
We parted ways. Jack forgot about the cheesymite scroll and all was right in the world again.
Post Script - I actually think police to a great job and apologise for this rant and the doughnut gag (alright..... not the doughnut gag. That shit is timeless)
