You are walking down a wide street, lines with gum trees. The sun is shining and the gardens are starting to bloom in a riot of colours.
Spring is in the air!
And because you are just so darned pleased with the whole scenario, you are starting to realise that moving to the burbs from the city was a grand idea indeed.
And them you are viciously and repeatedly swooped by a magpie.
WOMAN DOWN.
This happened to me last week.
Being viciously and repeatedly swooped by a magpie can do wonders for a lady's nerves and induce post traumatic stress syndrome and causes vivid flashbacks to your childhood, where it was almost a daily occurrence.
We used to walk to school, which was at the top of our long street, not dissimilar to our current situation. The magpies back then were prolific and particularly nasty. Those 80's magpies were hard core.
Mum used to make our sandwiches, pack our bags and kiss us goodbye at the door before we trekked off.
We would then each grab our Magpie Stick and don a square plastic ice-cream container on our head, which had eyes drawn on the top. We would walk to school together swinging our Magpie Sticks in the air. An unusual sight I am sure.
We were like a moving smorgasbord for magpies, but the attacks did cease.
One of my classmates use to tease the shit out of me about it, but he certainly got his comeuppance. I call it Magpie Karma. You needed to respect the bird.
More and more I am seeing cyclists, (who magpies hate as much as drivers do) donning these this spring.
Being swooped by a magpie is scary, because it takes a few seconds to realise what is going on. You do the dance of panic, with arms and legs flailing around in circles before dropping to the ground and staying perfectly still.
If you are lucky, no one will be witness to the incident. If you are unlucky, the neighbours will run out laughing and pointing.
Now because I am a community spirited kind of gal, I am happy to provide you with a printable to copy off and stick on your own ice cream container hat.
For the men....
And for the ladies....
So go forth and walk the streets bravely.
What about you?
Ever been attacked by an animal?
