The Interview

please be aware that I am actually interviewing myself because I could not find anyone else willing to do it and I wanted to expand the range of text types presented here on this blog.

THE INTERVIEW 

Today we have a treat for you. Joining us is Australian Blogger Mrs Woog, author of the blog WoogsWorld. She currently resides in New York City, thanks to her sponsors Garnier Australia and her kind and patient husband who is stuck at home taking care of the kids.

She arrives for this interview dressed in a soft pant and a strange looking girdle-type garment. 

Hello Mrs Woog, you are looking fetching today! How are you finding New York City?

Well, first up let me say thank you for having me and you too are looking lovely. I love what the weather has done with your hair! You cannot get that look in a salon I am sure.

No, you certainly cannot. It is the humidity.

Bloody humidity! You should have SEEN the state of my skin when I got off the plane. Hideous. It made several children cry as I went through customs.

So, New York. Do you rate it?

Oh sweet jesus yes. Never have I eaten food so good, seen buildings so beautiful, shopped like a credit whore on crack, had small moments on sidewalks, discovered the history of places I had only ever dreamt about. And the people are wonderful.

All of them? You have not met any dickheads?

Well funny you should mention that. We did unfortunately meet a dickhead just last night. He was sleazy, unpleasant, loud and thought he was a little bit special. He would not leave us alone and we were only saved by a couple of Google Suits who could tell we were damsels in distress. The Google Men were very impressed when I proudly told them that my mate BabyMac could code HTML,  which I have no idea what it means, but I know it has something to do with computers.

Umm, yes. BabyMac. What is the best thing about sharing an apartment with her?

Well, for a start, she makes a bed like a motherfucker. I get out of the shower and BANG - the apartment has been freshened up and looks like it belongs on the cover of Country Style or something. She is great with finishing off anything I cannot eat as well. And she gets so excited that she cries.

And any flaws?

Not really. The only thing I can think of is that she might be starting to get a big head after a guy at Sephora today said her necklace was "on trend" and she was pleased that a trendy person in a trendy store in a trendy city thought she was "on trend...."

You don't like the saying "on trend" then?

No. I really don't. Just say it looks nice....... or something.

Is that girdle "on trend"?

Shut up.

Ok, well tell me what you have been shoving in your pie hole then.

Like my travel buddy, I am quite committed to sampling everything that anyone makes. Yesterday alone, we had a bagel, a piece of pizza, a cheese and charcuterie plate washed down with a bottle of pino grigio and another bagel. I am avoiding the coffee because it tastes like wee. 

Have you been following the Olympics at all?

Negative

Do you miss your boys and Mr Woog?

Affirmative

Do you think you will get to meet Martha Stewart at Blogher?

Shit yeah! Cannot wait. We are going out for shots. Served in pale pink and white striped plastic cups.

Well, I am sure she is looking forward to that! Thank you for taking some time out to join me at this little table.

You're welcome. You are actually quite nice, not at all like what I have heard......

Any more New York questions?