Last night I was going out with a group of girlfriends to celebrate a birthday. I had promised Mr Woog and the boys they could have hot dogs, which they were all working themselves up into a lather about. There is something about mashed up snouts and assholes that they adore....
Anyway, I put the water on, got the buns, cheese, mustard and sauce out and went to the fridge to get the hotdogs when I remembered I had left the hotdogs back at the supermarket, on the shelf.
"Darling, I forgot to buy the hotdogs." I told Mr Woog "Can you grab something from the Japanese place for dinner?" We live near a great Japanese Place.
Mr Woog's mouth turned cat's bum.
He told me that he did not want to spend $50 on takeaway and that I had to go and get the hotdogs. I told him to go and jam it and then the kids started in on me, expressing their devastation that they were not going to eat snouts and assholes.
Oh for fuck's sake.
I jumped into the car and shot up to Woolworths where every bastard was circling around trying to get a park. After a new minutes, I got the shits and parked in the loading zone. I had one thing to buy, I knew where it was and I was sure I would be in and out in less that 90 seconds.
90 seconds was all it took for the parking ranger to zone in on my illegal activities and book my ass.
So Mr Woog, next time I suggest you get something from the Japanese Place, do it. Turns out they were VERY expensive hotdogs.
