I travelled out to Windsor to celebrate the Windsor Mall Craft Markets which turned 20. Well that is actually crap, I went out to have lunch with the family and pick up the Woogette's who had been enjoying a weekend with various grandparents who live out that way while I was enjoying a weekend of silence and sleep.
When I got out to Mum's place, she was getting ready to go "up the mall" to make a speech at a ceremony celebrating the fact that The Windsor Mall Craft Market had survived the Global Financial Crises. Mum is on the local council and gets all the good gigs. She had spend the past fortnight helping people shift stuff in the flood that never happened. She is a good egg like that.
She took her place on the rotunda with a collection of old men who all had something to say about the Windsor Mall Craft Markets. Except that you could not hear any of them as they mumbled and shuffled around on stage. I wandered around inspecting the unusual collection of crocheted doilies and cross stitches that screamed out wise quotes such as "You don't have to be crazy to work here, but it helps!". There was a stall that had glassware made of empty Vodka Cruise bottles. I am sorry I did not take a photo of them. They were both tacky and clever, a rare combo.
The crowd started to swell.
The old men finished their inaudible ramblings and Mum took to the stage like Oprah was in town. She sung the praises of the Windsor Mall Craft Markets and the stall holders. She urged the crowd to continue to come out to Windsor on a Sunday to enjoy the atmosphere, reminding them the markets were opened rain, hail and shine and what a wonderful place Windsor was. A collection of drunks from the pub clapped enthusiastically when she finished.
This is her. We share a love of the leopard print. There was a cake which, and I quote Mum, "Someone has made." I think she also should have mentioned that "someone" also dropped their elbow in it.
I opted out of watching the cake cutting ceremony and left, walking back home to start preparing lunch. As I wandered back through the craft stalls, I heard Mum screech "If I hit the bottom I have to kiss the nearest Man! That would be you Noel!!!" and I pissed myself laughing.
Be honest now, what was the last "event" you went to?
