I am going with my oldest friend Kracker, who has given me 7 days of her time. Kracker is one of the most cleverest people I know. She has the most grown up job of anyone ever, Apart from Obama. She cooks so much better than any of those folk on Masterchef and can do it without crying. We usually travel in a pack with Penny, but she is unable to come since her car blew up in my driveway two weeks ago.
So it is just me and Kracker. Her job is extremely high powered and she makes decisions from 6am till 9pm while managing a billion staff, so she is concerned that I will get bored with her as she plans to have a week of silence, interspersed with sleeping and eating and drinking. She is not one for karaoke, but will happily watch me do it. The one time she did Karaoke for me and Penny was about 10 years ago and she did "I'm back in the saddle again..." and we teased her for a year. Bitches? Yes.
This is Kracker, on the right - you can just tell she is up for a giggle! It only took one phone call and one email to arrange the whole trip! Can you believe that? The Divine Ms M, UberKate, Mrs Finlayson and I often take 3 weeks, 52 calls, 9 emails, 76 texts and 3 fights to arrange to go out for a drink........
I just need to throw her crackberry in the pool on arrival and order her a cocktail. She travels with carry on luggage only and I have not told her that I ALWAYS check luggage in, thus we will be held up because of me. I am not going to tell her until we get to the airport. She is all like "I just need swimmers and a book..." because she is a study in efficiency. I need more. A disorganised person always needs more shit. Sorry for the close up photo and my non white teeth. Ghastly!
What is going to happen to Mr Woog and the Woogettes you ask? Time for some good old fashioned male bonding. I will leave the Doctors number on the fridge. Mummy loves you! x
And what about SawHole? She has already used up her two days annual leave this year when she attended the Curves Franchising Workshop, so she has been left with a to do list. This includes:
Tamper with Tony Abbott's bike
Make Woogsworld patron Joe Hildebrand lunch and dinner. Spag bol will be fine for both.
Answer Joe's fanmail
Make Chuy an amusing outfit.
Research my family tree
Write apology to Ambipur
Write apology to Thermomix
Write apology to Stoli Vodka
Write apology to Jennifer Hudson
Write apology to the Carn Association of Australia
Categorise ballet flats into casual and non casual
Teach the G-pigs a new trick
Sort tupperware drawer and find missing lids
Start a dialog with Peter the Fattist and find out why he is indeed a fattist (when his wife is a bit fat)
Darn socks
Flush out chimneys
Research merch to take to BlogHer 11 that features hats with drinking straws.
So apart from a Bintang t-shirt or a T-shirt that says Two in the Pink and one in the Stink (really - they make them. It took me a while to work out what it meant and then I was suitably outraged) Is there anything I can bring back for you?
