Harry's Holidayz

So today is the last day of school holidays here at Woogsworld. Excuse me while I just have a little internal party. It has been a very long couple of weeks,  filled with tears, tantrums, terror and triumphs.

And that has just been me.

Harry spent some time at Tennis Camp.  Harry loves his tennis camp.  On the first day of tennis camp,  he observed his class and buddied up to the best player,  a 7 year old named Alex.  Alex was like a mini Nadal and Harry knew that buying him ring pops and laughing at his jokes would pay off.  He is all sorts of rat-cunning that boy.  And all his hard friendship brown nosing paid off when he and Alex won the Doubles Final.  Harry was hardly in on any of the rallies in the final.  But he does not care. Because he won the medal.

Yeah you did!

We spent some time up in the Blue Mountains,  chilling out (read freezing) and exploring the surrounds.  We had a great time. Did all the touristy things, ate too many pies and played too many games of Connect Four. We got caught up in aggressive crowds of Chinese Tourists.  In particular,  when we were lining up to go on the scenic railway. 

Two brothers with The Three Sisters

In the second week,  Harry went to two days of Hip Hop Holidayz,  a dance camp designed to prepare kids if ever they are required to dance in rap music videos.  Harry is a fussy dresser.  He has a large collection of fedora hats which stem from a few years ago,  when he was a flower boy at The Divine Ms M's wedding.

I know,  have you ever seen such cuteness?

Harry,  complete with a tan and red fedora,  went off to Hip Hop Holidayz Camp.  I signed him in and after I left,  Harry told the teachers he was in year 4 (he is in year 2) so he was put in with the big kids.  Including one bully,  who immediately started giving Harry shit about his hat.

So later I was called in to a meeting with the hip hop teacher..........

Said with a strong Lebanese accent "Ok, so my Dad always told me to lay one on anyone who picked on me.  I get that. Really.  But we cannot have that type of stuff going down at Hip Hop Holidayz."

Transpires that Harry had had enough of the big bully giving him shit about his hat and clobbered him. Well like a 7 year old CAN clobber an 11 year old. Which I am guessing is not much.  My little juvie.

I offered to withdraw Harry from any more Krumping Instruction but I was assured that all was fine. Now.

And the next day,  as I watched Harry on the stage performing in the group dance number,  I truly wondered whether I had wasted my money and had tarnished the Woog name for nothing.  He was at least half the size of the rest of them and while they went through the routine,  Harry stood at the back moving around like he was being tasered by an invisible policeman.

Next holidayz,  we are going to stick with tennis.

Performing Princesses

My 5 year old son loves to dance. My 7 year old son is a reluctant dancer. My 37 year old husband is what we call a non-dancer. Me? In the words of Sarah Jessica Parker in the 1985 film Girls Just Want To Have Fun, I love to dance! I am not saying I am a good dancer, as I am not. But jeeze I love to have a crack at a wedding, party or for any particular reason.

Jack has inherited his love of dance from me. But his skills far outweigh mine. Sure, I can teach him the classics like Start the Mower, Do the Shopping and the Sprinkler, but he takes it all to the next level.

With these school holidays looming, I decided to enroll the Woogettes in the local dance school for a few days of ahem... tuition. The conversation went a little like this.

"I would like to enrol my kids into the Hip Hop Holidaze for Boyz and the Performing Princesses camps. " I said feeling totally stupid.

The young receptionist asked how old my daughter was. I explained that Jack was a boy and he was 5.

"Sorry, this workshop is for girls only. He can do the Hip Hop Holidaze for Boyz."

"Does the Hip Hop Holidaze cover ballet, modelling and cheerleading?" I asked.

"No."

"Then can he do the one with the cheerleading? He is dead keen on the cheerleading." I said, thinking if it was good enough for Jennifer Hawkins, it was good enough for Jack.

"No."

I hung up the phone and stared at it. I was replaying in my head what had just happened. I was trying to think if I was being unreasonable as I was totally outraged. If I was a cartoon character my head would be turning read and steam would be pissing out of my ears.

I decided to give it a while and think about what I should do. In the meantime I thought I was suffering a heart attack, but it turned out I had some wicked indigestion from lunch, This kept my mind off my fury for at least 30 minutes.

After school, I went through the options of dance camp again with Jack, strongly suggesting that Hip Hop Holidaze for Boyz might be quite cool. Even though they cannot spell for shit. Jack looked at me with his brown eyes and asked " Why can't I do Performing Princesses?" and I thought "Why CAN'T you do Performing Princesses!"

With a shaking hand I rang back the Dance School. I asked the imbecile who answered if I could speak to someone in charge. Someone in charge got on the phone and I said I was the mother of a 5 year old boy who wished to be enrolled in the Performing Princesses Class in the school holidays and as he is male, I understand this is not possible but I would like one good reason why he cannot. I was about to say that my money is as good as anyone's and no one puts baby in the corner when the lady spoke.

"It is a class for girls only."

OH MY GOD

"Who is it going to upset if he attends this class?" I asked "I doubt very much the girls would care."

"It is not the girls. It is the mother's of the girls who have enrolled them thinking that it is a girls only class."

WTF.

A lively and colourful discussion ensued and ended with me telling the woman to give my contact details to all the mums of all the girls in the class so if any of them wishes to complain that my kid prefers ballet to hip hop, they can call me directly.

So to cut an even longer story short, Jack is going to live his cheerleading, ballet destiny these holidays. And Harry is an unwilling participant in Hip Hop Holidaze for Boyz. And to me, this was just another example of not bending over when someone says you can't do something.

As a wise man once said, Never say Never.