When the Woogs sit down to break bread and squabble, there is one member of the family that has to observe proceedings through the sliding door.
Chuy.
Chuy is 18 months old now, which is equivalent in cat years to being a teenager. And like a lot of teenagers, he has turned into a bit of an asshole.
He has gotten into the worst habit of waiting until no one is watching and then swiping food from the table before doing the bolt with it. Recently, he snatched a whole BBQ chicken from the table, ran down the hall with it, out the front door and down the street.
He is strong, fast and cunning. But not rat cunning. Better than rat cunning. Smarter. I know this because he can outsmart rats times a million. Which is roughly the amount of murdered rats that we have found recently. We have a back ally, which is like a rat smorgasbord, all you can eat dining option for Chuy.
But recently, his attention seeking behaviour has taken a darker, sinister turn. He has began to bring his victims into show me.
Last week, I woke up with a huge dead rat in my bed. And again the next day. And the next.
Seriously, take a minute here. And think about that.
Mr Woog is a very early riser and lets Chuy out. Chuy is usually standing at the back door, doing the human equivalent of holding one's crotch and running up and down on the spot. After relieving himself, he goes and selects a rat from the back ally and brings it to me. Sort of like an I Love You gift. The gift of vermin.
And I wake up and scream and scream and scream and then the kids run in and scream and scream and scream before Mr Woog calmly walks in holding a plastic bag and gets rid of the problem.
It is starting to affect my sleep.
I was talking to the boys this morning about how I now sleep with one eye open and how I was going to have to buy a bell to go on his collar. A collar that still says WILSON in memorial to our dearly departed and much missed Chuy predecessor. Wilson was a cat so robust that the very thought of his chasing down a rat was laughable.
I miss Wilson. He was my kind of cat.
 |
| Beautiful Wilson |
Anyway, so I tell the boys that I am going to get Chuy a bell and Harry looked alarmed before saying.....
"Can you not get him one that will make him look stupid?"
Nothing will make Chuy look stupid. He is far to smart. Not bad for the illegitimate bastard son of the local town bike.
Do you have a generous pet?
What have you received as a special gift?
