On Wednesday, I travelled to Melbourne with my mate Eden to attend a meeting. On the plane, I shared with her the most vivid dream I had had the night before.
In the dream, I discovered that I was with child. Unexpectedly. There is no plan to add to our already unruly brood, but there I was. Subliminally duffed in my slumber.
The whole dream was so real, that I woke up in a panic and took a few minutes to compose myself and realise that indeed the whole thing was just a figment of my fertile imagination.
I told Eden of my panic and fear. She looked out the window of the plane for a few moments before looking at me and suggesting that the whole idea might be good for business.
OF COURSE! DER. Some days I am so stupid I could kick myself.
I am a mummy blogger and a new baby would open up a whole new chapter of blogging fodder, not to mention all of the commercial opportunities that would organically present itself. Now that my kids are getting older, their commercial values are starting to limit themselves.
We discussed sponsorship opportunities and possibilities. We came up with a quick list.
- Approach a piss-on-the-stick-pregnancy-test manufacturer to sponsor a post, featuring their product with a bit smiling face on a dedicated blog post. Dripping in wee.
- Review and rank the range of nappies available to the Australian consumer. Giveaway a possibility here. Looking at poo-oozing out the side in particular.
- Interview a leading obstetrician about the VBAC options, with a tie in from the Natural Birth Association and banner ads from a private hospital. Would like to fan a really good debate here and end up being interviewed by mainstream media. Because that has proven to be SUCH FUN!
- Run a FaceBook competition, with punters guessing the date, sex and weight of said fictional baby. This would be sponsored by CentreBet.
- A partnership with Baby Bjorn, showcasing their new fashion range, Shiny Happy Fit Mums (who are crying on the inside)
- Tena Vlogs - a series of 3 vlogs detailing the total collapse of my pelvic floor and an educational diary of how to peel the paper off the adhesive strips. And how layering can help.
This baby was going to pay for itself in no time!
The next day we sat in the boardroom with the marketing and PR division of a large, multinational cosmetic company. I was sharing with them the plan to monetize my fictional internet baby. The head of PR for Maybelline did not miss a beat, and put in an official naming right bid, promising a cash payment if I call the baby MAYBEL.
FUCKING JACKPOT!
The seed is sown. (no pun intended)
I am now opening up expressions of interest, which close in 9 months, to name the fictional internet WoogsWorld Baby.
I am looking for originality, organic commercial tie-ins and opportunities to continue the relationship until the fictional internet WoogsWorld baby goes to high school.
Please consider the gender of the baby in your answer. And the possibility of multiple births.
The winner will be announced next year and will be awarded with a bucket of KFC.
And if you are a corporation wanting to get involved with the Branding of the fictional internet WoogsWorld Baby, please contact my agent at The Remarkables Group.
