The invitations vary from things like "Come and learn about our new type of plastic packaging are switching over to!" or "We would like to share 9 of the 11 secret herbs and spices with you over a bucket of chicken! A FREE bucket of chicken!" or "Dear Mrs Wog, We invite you to come and experience (insert some new fangled technological gadget that I do not need nor will never understand) and then we would like you to blog about it."
Most of the time I am too busy washing my hair or watching my imaginary dog eat my homework.
But a few weeks ago, an invitation popped into my letterbox from one of my favourite PR companies. They wanted to collect me in a limo and take me out to lunch to the MCA and learn about a new product. And there was going to be wine. DAYTIME WINE? Hello.....
They also asked me to share a beauty secret, which was going to remain secret. But it turns out it wasn't. More on that later.
I got caught up with the mundane the morning of the event and it was not until the driver knocked at my door that I realised I was not looking my most lovely. I mean, I was about to hang with THE BEAUTY MEDIA PACK and those bitches are VERY MUCH INTO APPEARANCES. I literally went into a panic and pulled some jeans out of the washing machine which had yet to be put on. I whacked on some foundation and some mascara and chucked a brush through my hair.
I travelled to the event with a very Gen Y beauty blogger who was very much into ignoring me. Awkward!
I arrived at the lunch. The room was spectacularly beautiful. The women were spectacularly beautiful and I felt less like a dog turd on the sidewalk after 2 champagnes.
I hoovered up my lunch and noticed that I was only one of a handful who ate the bread roll that accompanied our chicken. I was also on of a handful who ate all of the dish. But I did not really care because I was getting my wine on.
I was delighted to note that the Beauty Media Pack also enjoyed getting their wine on.
But back to the Beauty Secret.
When the PR asked me for one, I was rushing out the door to take the kids to Rugby running around and quickly banged out a sentence, inspired by a scene on my desk.
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| Sunlight plus magnifying mirror plus writers block. You know where this is going right?
I pressed send and promptly forgot about it. So you could imagine my surprise when I found out it had been turned into a piece of art and hung with dozens of other "beauty secrets" from the Beauty Media Pack!
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Here are some of the more sensible secrets.
I mix rose hip oil with my night cream to boost radiance and help fade scars.
My skin gets very, very dry when I fly, so I always apply a moisturising mask before takeoff.
I always cleanse twice. I don't feel clean if I only go one round with the cleanser.
I nourish my skin from the inside out. A whole food diet and heaps of water is what really gets my skin glowing. Oh and the occasional colonic.
And of course there was mine........ which I got to take home.
After the event was over, I got into the lift with a stack of the pack and listened to them as they discussed the secrets. "Did you see the one about squeezing the blackheads? Yuk!"
I stood there clutching the offensive canvas to my chest praying that they did not notice it, all the while wanting to yell.....
"LIKE YOU ALL DO NOT DO IT! EVERYONE OF YOU... AND YOU THERE WITH YOUR TEENY TINY PORES... EVEN YOU DO IT! OH FOR SHAME......." accompanied by a whole heap of finger wagging.
But I didn't. I just got back into my limo with my sour faced Gen Y new friend and said "Home Jeeves."
So tell me... What is YOUR beauty secret?
And please do not say colonic irrigation or you will be banned from this blog FOREVER.
