Growing up we had a miniature Schnauzer. Her name was Pepper and still to this day out of all the dogs we had, she was the most pointless. Not that any of the dogs were that useful come to think of it, but Pepper was the least popular (apart my sister Paineful, she LOVED Pepper).
Like most chicks, Pepper got old and fat and stinky. She continued to annoy all in the family with her stink until one day she annoyed the wrong bitch. In our collection of dogs we also had an ancient rottweiler called Lucy. We got Lucy from a chicken farm near Londonderry. I am pretty sure that Lucy's Mum and Dad were brother and sister...... But anyway, Pepper pissed Lucy off to the point that Lucy inflicted such severe bodily harm on Pepper, that it was touch and go for her for a while.
Meanwhile, Lucy was given the green dream as punishment. She was 14 and had no teeth. It is still a mystery how the damage was done. I suspect she was packing a blade or something,
Pepper stank on for another few years until one day she curled up on the back step. And died.
Ok so getting to the point of this blog post.
The area where we live is over-run by miniature schnauzers. They are a very over represented breed here on the Lower North Shore. We even have a car game we play. You get to scream SCHNAUZER when you see one. It is an excellent game.
Yesterday, Harry and I dropped Jack of to Ballet before heading to Frankins to do the grocery shopping. Quality one on one time right there. We finished up and walked out to find a boxer dog tied up. Since they were small, the Woogettes have been taught how to approach a dog, walking towards it with a fist outstretched as the gauge the friendliness of the animal. The Boxer was beautiful and let us pat and smoosh her. According to her tag, her name was Sarah, which I find a truly strange name for a canine. As we smooshed Sarah, a lady with a pram walked past and tied a miniature schnauzer up near us and disappeared into Franklins.
I yelled SCHNAUZER and Harry headed over to it to give it a smoosh. He got within a foot of the dog, with his fist outstretched when all of a sudden the Schnauzer sprung like a Jack in the Box and promptly attached itself to Harry's leg. Harry reacted like he had been given a decent electric shock and jumped back. He is a tough little dude and did not cry, but I could tell he wanted to.
He is up to date with his shots. Thank god! Nothing worse than getting attacked and THEN getting a needle to top it off.
So, in conclusion and in what is a wild generalisation, I now insist that all miniature schnauzers are complete assholes.
Have you ever been assaulted by an animal?
And birds shitting on your head DOES count.
