A few days ago, I had an incident involving a pair of Sambag Ballet flats and a newly washed floor. I suffered a fall. And epic fall.
For years my sister Mrs Ryan and I have talked about suffering falls. We have heard things about elderly people we knew from our mum and the conversation always goes something like..
"She suffered a fall and had to have her hip replaced. And she died under the anaesthetic..."
"He slipped on the path and suffered a fall and had to go to rehab to learn to walk again. And then he died...."
"She was making a cup of tea and suffered a fall and got really bad burns on her hands. Then she died in the ambulance..."
"They were going to bingo and she slipped on a banana peel and suffered a fall resulting in a green stick fracture before she passed away..."
Old people suffer falls. And they do not just break things. They shatter major skeletal structures. And more often than not, a major fall marks the beginning of the end.
I suffered a fall on Tuesday. I was in a rush to use the latrine and took the corner too fast in wet conditions. It was not so much as I fell, but it was like someone literally pulled the rug out from under me. Except there was no rug. If there WAS a rug there, I would not have fallen. When you are falling, sometimes you do it in slow motion and have a change to correct your footing. But my fall was like walky walky walky BANG.
I lay on the wet floor bawling. And after I assessed that I had not broken my arm, I started swearing blue murder. The language was colourful to say the least and no one was there to listen.
I called Mr Woog at work and had a good old cry. He was most unhelpful. I called the Divine Ms M who asked "Did anyone see it?" and I told her no. And then she said that that was a shame because it sounded really funny.
It has been a few days now since I suffered my fall and I must say, I feel like I have been hit by a car. My ribs hurt, my hip hurts and my neck is twitchy. And the bruising. OH THE BRUISING. I suffered a fall. I fell and I could not get up. For a while. And it has made me think whether I need to invest in any of the following items.
So I will look into implementing these items into WoogsWorld so I can protect myself... from myself.
Have you ever suffered a fall?
What damage did you do?
Go on... share so I do not feel like such a gumby fuck.
