Welcome to Parenting 101, a series which explored lame attempts at being a good parent. In the past we have learnt about Embarrassing the Kids, Substitution and Following Through.
Today we will be exploring a little known phenomenon called Star of the Week.
In Jack's class, his teacher The Saintly Miss K has implemented an award called Star of the Week. It is basically a title given to a child who has behaved saintly. When you are Star of the Week, you get to sit in a special chair with a gold star stuck to the back of it. Stuck with Blue Tac. And you sit in that chair and laud it over all of the other 5 year olds while they are sitting on the floor. I am sure there is some sort of line leadership involved. As well as just being able to say that you are the best..... for that week. And you get your photo stuck to the door on the classroom. Stuck with Blue Tac.
You also get custody of the Class Mascot. You get to take home this freaky looking creature called Spike. I think it is a dog. You are supposed to show Spike a good time, take photos and document it in a Diary. Things like "We took spike to the Zoo" "We took Spike on a joy ride in Daddy's Private Jet" "Spike enjoyed lunch at Tetsuya's" and the like.
So when Jack was Star of the Week, Spike came home for a visit. And we kept thinking we had better show him a really good time so we can brag out it in the Diary so when the other parents read it they will think that the Woogs are Cool! But as usual time got away from us so Jack's entry in the Diary went something along the lines of this..........
Spike gets into the Mazda. I am at school so Mum is taking him to Franklins for an outing.
They wave goodbye to Chuy the Murderer
Spike sits in the trolley while Mum gets strange looks from people while she takes his photo.
If Spike was a real dog, then this would be funny. But they found the dog food. And Spike was happy.
And because Mum had taken Spike to Frankins, Spike was satisfied with his week with the Woogs. But not really.........
Except the only creature who made Spike feel a bit scared was Chuy. Chuy hated Spike. Hated him with a full on passion.
We have now implemented our own Family Star of the Week. So far I have taken out the title every week, but I think Mr Woog may be on a roll, having fetched me coffees for 4 days in a row.
Thanks for visiting us Spike. I am sorry we showed you such a lame ass time.
